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Newspaper Page Text
A COCKNEY SUGGESTION
It was at a theater in Manchester
7 The king, aged and infirm, was
blessed with -two sons. He was pac
king up and down the stage, with a
5 wearied, troubled look, exclaiming
'" "On which of these, my sons, shall
1 bestow my crown?"
Immediately came a voice from the
"Why not 'arf a crown apiece, guv
nor? " Argonaut
OUT OF ALL REASON
Guest I thought this was a tem
perance hotel, and yet I find that in
- one of the underground rooms you
- have a bar for the sale of intoxicants.
, Clerk (in astonishment) Good
ness me, man! What do you expect?
-You didn't think to find the bar any
where else in a temperance hotel, do
BACK TO THE WOODS
Jones (visiting Brown at his bung
alow) Ah, this is a real wilderness
This background is a veritable jun
gle! Brown That? Why, darn you,
'that's my. vegetable garden! Puck.
t HER PREFERENCE
"Does your daughter play Mo
zart?" we asked, displaying unusual
"I believe so," she replied depre
Ijjcatingly; "but I think she prefers
X NEEDS ONE ITSELF
- "John," asked Mary, "what is a
"A synonym," said John, "is a
word you use when you can't spell
the other one.
AT THE CIRCUS
"What was the row in the side
show this morning. Bill?"
"The two-headed man quarreled
with himself as to which face should
get shaved first!"
Officer So, Mrs. Casey, ye wint to
the aviation meet. An' did ye under
stand the aeroplanes?
Mrs. Casey Shure, an' Oi did; but
there was wan thing I didn't git
tl"-ouch me head, sir, an' that was
what holds thim up.
H1STA BOWEWW IS GEW-I
?RoFESOR. WHO STUDIES
"BECAUSE UE'S TRW6 TO
CTOS5 THE BU'
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