OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 26, 1915, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-08-26/ed-1/seq-17/

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A COCKNEY SUGGESTION
It was at a theater in Manchester
7 The king, aged and infirm, was
blessed with -two sons. He was pac
king up and down the stage, with a
5 wearied, troubled look, exclaiming
aloud.
'" "On which of these, my sons, shall
1 bestow my crown?"
Immediately came a voice from the
) gallery.
"Why not 'arf a crown apiece, guv
nor? " Argonaut
o o
OUT OF ALL REASON
Guest I thought this was a tem
perance hotel, and yet I find that in
- one of the underground rooms you
- have a bar for the sale of intoxicants.
, Clerk (in astonishment) Good
ness me, man! What do you expect?
-You didn't think to find the bar any
where else in a temperance hotel, do
you? Puck.
o o
BACK TO THE WOODS
Jones (visiting Brown at his bung
alow) Ah, this is a real wilderness
This background is a veritable jun
gle! Brown That? Why, darn you,
'that's my. vegetable garden! Puck.
o o
t HER PREFERENCE
"Does your daughter play Mo
zart?" we asked, displaying unusual
erudition.
"I believe so," she replied depre
Ijjcatingly; "but I think she prefers
J1 auction."
X NEEDS ONE ITSELF
- "John," asked Mary, "what is a
Esynonym?''
"A synonym," said John, "is a
word you use when you can't spell
the other one.
o o
AT THE CIRCUS
"What was the row in the side
show this morning. Bill?"
"The two-headed man quarreled
with himself as to which face should
get shaved first!"
ONE THING
l
HubB
Officer So, Mrs. Casey, ye wint to
the aviation meet. An' did ye under
stand the aeroplanes?
Mrs. Casey Shure, an' Oi did; but
there was wan thing I didn't git
tl"-ouch me head, sir, an' that was
what holds thim up.
o o
H1STA BOWEWW IS GEW-I
?RoFESOR. WHO STUDIES
"-' 7ii
"BECAUSE UE'S TRW6 TO
CTOS5 THE BU'
. J&ku .Jl'I-JiteSfeafcat1uBALiAtAiBt

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