Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
William did not shine as a student
"and his reports clearly proved this,
JC yet he insisted to his mother that he
, was right at the top of his class.
"You see," he explained when one
of his reports was under scrutiny,
"that E' is for 'excellent' and that
'D' is for 'dandy'."
"But," persisted his mother, "the
little girl across the street gets al
most nothing but 'A's' on her report"
"Well, mother," responded the boy,
"I hate to give her away, but that 'A'
stands for 'awful.' "
And it is said he got away with it
A stranded but still haughty "lead
ing Indv" was nhlifpr! to nut nn at n
t dilapidated country hotel. She looked
frowningly about the office, reluc-
ii tantly signed the register, and took
Lthe brass key from the proprietress.
"Is there water in my room?" she
fK "Why, there was," replied the pro
of prietress, 'T)Ut I had the roof fixed."
1 o o
ALL OVER THE MAP
The Rector What would be your
idea of the beet way to spread the
gospel to the uttermost parts of tne
Frivolous Parishioner How would
it do to put a bible in every Ford car,
' "FIFTY FIFTY'
"My wife is a lecturer and I am an
; "I didn't know you appeared
"I don t She lectures and I
at home and entertain the kids."
PRESENCE OF MIND1
Klein (to partner) Quick, Eck-
l, a man fell trou' de cole hole!
Eckstein Clap de cover on, Ikey,
I run fer de cop! If we don't
Bt him for stealin' coal he'll sue
TIT FOR TAT
JumperWhy did your wife give
up mission work? '
Bumper Because when she was
busy trying to uplift the children of
others another social worker came
along and tried to uplift sljers.
o o x
MKTA BOWK VUIW 15 TUC 1U-T
TEfilrsn r Tl ll nii-m-l
i-eiwij. wi- iiiij 'HtAiKt;
, to wvy f
sAm so mu r m .
'WHY, BECAUSE THE BOXES
ae iw nevis,