Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
I would have gotten here sooner
only I stopped off in a department
'store. A man came up and said: "I
-want to get a brush for a lady with
long bristles." I said: "Excuse me,
sir, but where does this lady live?"
He said: "What do you want to know
for?" Is said: "I've seen ladies, but
never with long bristles, and I'm cu
rious to know what one looks like."
Coming home on the trolley from
Coney Island last summer I notived
a little baldman'sitting opposite me
fast asleep. On the rack overhead
was a crab in a basket, but Mister
Crab had managed to work himself
to the edge of the rack, and, falling
down, alighted on the bald man's
shoulder. The bald man grabbed his
ear and in his sleep hollered, "Let go,
Sarah; I tell you I've been at my office
But he wasn't the only henpecked
man on board. No, indeed. Sitting
right next to me were a husband and
wife and she was nagging him all the
way home. Presently the conductor
came along and hollered: "Transfer."
"Don't want any," said the husband,
sourly. "Well, if I had a wife like
yours you bet I'd take one," said the
THE MEAN THING
Emma Miss Antique says she
wishes she could step to the 'phone
and call up her happy college days..
Eva If she did, she'd have to em
ploy the long-distance 'pllone. Flo
A MISPLACED HINT
Male straphanger Madam, you
are standing on my foot!
Female ditto Beg pardon, sir. J
thought it belonged to the man sit
AT THE BALL GAME
Mrs. Dents (excitedly) Isn't our
pitcher perfectly grand, Tyrus? He
hits the club nearly every, throw!
Jones You are extravagant4-you
spend money for unnecessary
Mrs. Jones Impossible! Unnec
sary clothes are not in style.
MlSTA BONES WHAT ITTUAtI
NEVET? ASK ME AMH QUESTION
tjui UAUO IrOR
. - L - - . AA