Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
FROM VAUDEVILLE ,"s"
1 Mabelle Lewis and Paul McCarty:
"You aren't going to kiss me to
day?" "No, mother wouldn't like it"
"Mother isn't going to get it"
"This is your birthday, isn't it?
I've got something for your head."
"No a vacuum cleaner."
"Quit picking on me. Don't you
know I just came through a painful
& - "Is that so?"
p . 'Tes, a doctor took ten bones out
h. of my hand."
f o o
"Mamma," said he, "where do
tney Keep tne Dear down in our
"The bear, child?" asked Willie's
mother. "What bear? Who ever
i told you such a ridiculous thing as
. "Nobody told me," was the quiet
Y rejoinder of the perplexed youngster,'
"but every time I go to church they
' always sing something about 'the'
consecrated cross-eyed bear' "'
A section foreman on, a railroad
was ordering a list of supplies. He
had completed his letter 'when he
found he-was in need of a "frog" for
a switch, so his letter ran as follows:
M "Mr. Supervisor: Dear Sir You
will please ship me some pick han
dles, spike mauls, spikes and
s: wrenches." Yours (ruly,
'TAT HOGAN and a frog." .
K IRKED HIM
"My employers played me a rather
3 heartless trick," remarked the man
s who is always kicking. .
"Why, I thought they had increased
i "Yes. But they increased it just
7 enough to compel me to keep books
a and employ an expert accountant to
- figure -out my income tax." Wash-
"Do you drink anything?"
"Is it an inquiry or an invitation?
TWAS WELL HE ASKED
Old Man What are you fishing
Sonny Snigs. "'""
Old Man What are snigs?
Sonny I don't know; I ain'tneyej
caught "any yet Birmingham Age?
) ou ropes And
! (BECAUSE HE LJVES j
) OU ROPES AND
i rr r nra