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Newspaper Page Text
Will M. Cressy and Blanche Dayne
in "The Man Who Remembered":
Cressy I sold twcrpackages of
chewing gum and a postage stamp
this afternoon, and now comes some
body bothering trying to get in. It's
after 9 and the store's closed. I won
der when they expect me to get any
time to do my bookkeeping.
Dayne I'll put you in a fine line of
Cressy ' The folks in this town
don't use bathtubs.
Dayne Well, what do they use?
Cressy Is there anything you
Dayne Yes; gravestones.
Cressy I'll give you one. And if
you stick around here much longer
I'll tell you what date to put on it
' WAR JOKES
Rural Policeman (to artist at work)
Sketching the harbor is forbidden,
Artist Oh, that's all right I'm
only making a study of clouds.
Policeman Ah! but supposin'
your picture got into the hands of
the enemy's aircraft department, see
the use they could make of it! Lon
"What's this?" asked the automo
bile "owner, as the- deputy sheriff
thrust a folded paper into his hand.
"That," said the deputy, -"is. a new
attachment for your car. I'm putting
them on a great many of our finest
machines this summer." N. Y.
o o '
THE FICKLE CHAP
A youth edged Into Tiffany's on
Fifth avenue, New York, 'one day re
cently and selected an engagement
ring. The clerk asked him if he de
sired it inscribed.
"Yes,'' said the youth, "Augustus
to Irene," And er er dotft. cut
Irene' very deep, will you?." Pjuneb
A goop in a-moment of passion
Proposed to a young girl of fashion.
She picked out a lot
In the costliest spot,
Ana the goop's about ready to cashing
FISH ON FRIDAY
It was a camping party. A Chinese
was taken along as cook. The third
day out a tramp appeared at the
tent asking for something to eat. The
Chinese, gesticulating vehemently,
said: "Nothing clookee; nothing
The tramp started on his way and
when about 300 yards away, the Chi
nese called out: "Hey, Mister, you
The tramp, starting back to the
tent, said: "You bet -I like fish,
"Come around Fliday," said the
S-'Pleasure party?" asked the first
''You might say so,"' answered the"
other. "We're going for a knouting."
i t f -i t ft tid-t-.
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