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The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, October 02, 1915, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-10-02/ed-1/seq-17/

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FROM VAUDEVILLE
Charley Grapewin and Anna Chance
"There, there, dearie, I'm a good
husband. Didn't I promise you when
I came home that we would move
into a more expensive flat?
"Yes, you did."
"Well, now we won't have to move.
The landlord's raised the rent"
"That's just like you. Come on,
now. I'm housecleaning and there
are a thousand and one things to do."
"I'll do the one."
"There's a lot of pictures to be
hung. Ill put you over here. But
where will I hang ma?"
"I can think of a hundred an-
swers."
; "Well, speak up. What place?"
"You get the rope and I'll find the
place."
"What have you been eating?"
"Ijust was out in the kitchen and
ate that oatmeal you left in the
bowl."
"That wasn't oatmeal; that was a
flax-seed poultice."
"What are you trying to do draw
me out?"
; 0 0
WELL NAMED
Salesman This is our new patent
buttonless tan boot, sir "Banana
I Skin" brand.
Customer Whatever makes you
J give it such a peculiar name?
Salesman Because, sir, it is yel
low, and so easy to slip on.
KEPT HAPPY"
"Yes, we went to California."
I "Did your wife enjoy the scenery in
' her trip across the continent?"
"I don't think she looked at much
scenery. But she enjoyed herself, all
right She looked at hats in eleven
- different states."
o o-
NOT FEMININE ENOUGH
"So you didn't propose to her, after
all?"
"No. And I'm not going to. When
r I got to her hou.se I found her chas
ing a mouse-with a broom." Puck.
LOONY LIMERICKS
3
A simp with a cigaret holder,
With the matrons grew bolder and
bolder.
At last, with a thump he landed kert
t plunk!
Kicked out by a husband named;
Molder!
o o
FALSE TEACHER
"Well, Tommy, how did you lika
school?"
"I didn't like it a bit. The teacher
put me on a chair and told me to sit
there for the present And I sat and
sat. and she never gave me the pres
ent" N. Y. Dorld.
o o
THE TRUTH
"What grade are you in at school?
was asked Martha.
"The 1A," she replied.
"And what reader do you use
First classics or second classics?"
"Second-hand," replied Martha!
truthfully.
o o
TRUE BLUE
"My cousin is a true pessimist"
"How's that?"
"Even the brand of hope he useg
is forlorn." .
tnaMmmmmmmmMmi

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