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Newspaper Page Text
' Eddie Foy, the famous comedian,
once ueciueu muiseii io varuiBii a
doqr on his country house. He drove
to the village and secured a can of
varnish. When he came home he
placed the can in the pantry while
changing to his knockabout clothes.
When Foy had proceeded with the
HA job beyond the first coat he said, to
y himself: "This certainly Is fearful
f When Foy next went to the.village
". he visited the storekeeper. "That cer-
' tainly was awful varnish you sold me
I yesterday'," he said.
t "Varnish?" replied the storekeep-
er, "that wasn't varnish It was mo
tlassfcs." . BUt the most startling news came
r-when Foy returned home.
i "I got hold of the wrong can," Foy
told the cook, "I used molasses on the
p "Good heavens!" cried the cook,
r"then no wonder the cake was bad
I used tne varmsn in it!"
J FROM VAUDEVILLE
u (Val Harris and Jack Manlon.)
v "How did you like the opera, Uncle
' "Lot of bellowin', that's what it
- 'Whv TJncle Jerry, that's art Those
Vseats cost $50 apiece."
trt: "And what qo you call it?"
L "Grand opera."
1 "You're wrong. It's" -grand lar
Pi Demosthenes was about to go
down to the seashore and perform
fhls customary stunt of talking with
is mouth full of pebbles to improve
acrhto enunciation. On the way an idea
assailed him. "What's the use of
.lussing with a lot of bllgy .pebbles,"
he growled, "when I can get the
same effect on the Galician battle
field?" And he said Suzlysmzehrgl
six times 111 rapid succession. Cleve
land Plain Dealer, . r -
They say that the famed Paris' belles
Are busy each day making shells,
And they never complain s
Of the work and the strain, "
But a mouse fills the factory with,
o o -1
Down in San Antonio Choctaf?
George, a smart colored manwhp
had accumulated some money gath
ering tips in the Menger hotelwent
into the auto livery business.
He painted over the. door of his
place of business the - one word
An old colored woman came amt
blingby and stopped in front of Choc-
Jaw George's place of business.
For someume she studied the sign
Intently, then shook her head and
said: r 4 v
"Dat fol nigger sho' am .spoiled.
Dat's de foollshest way to spe4
0eorgel eber seed?1 - - .