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Newspaper Page Text
Mayor Mitchell of New York when
-hunting in the west, came upon a
cavalcade led by a. hearse." Four
horses were required to draw the
-jhearse. The mayor asked a native
,why it took so many horses to draw
"Wal," came the reply, "ye see, this
. tenderfoot got fresh with Big Pete,
pthe bad man, and Pete pumped him
i.so full o' lead that he makes consid-
COULD BE OF AID
C An elderly negro was run over by
-a wagon. A sympathetic attorney
- rushed to the hospital and ottered to
handle the case on a contingent fee.
"Go 'way fum me, white man," said
the oldldarkey feebly.
7 "But I want to help you," said the
The old man showed a gleam of in
terest v "Do you?" he said.
Y The lawyer nodded.
"Den," said the victim, "you go out
'"'an' find de man dat run into me and
T)us' his haid wide open." Washing
Judge Well, after the prisoner
struck you a blow what happened?
Prosecutor He gave me a third
r Judge A second one, you mean.
?v Prosecutor No, I gave him the
W HIS WORK
0 "You don't mean to tell me you're
going to invite Mr. Gink to your par
ity! Don't you know he doesn't
"Of course, but we've got to have
somebody to pump the pianola."
N. Y. World.
IT'S USUALLY THIS WAY
"Your wife certainly has a will of
There was once an old man from,
Who was given to telling the truth.
When he saw his young son
Making drakes of his mon
He quoth, "What a jackass Is youth P
The little bov had broueht home
perfect school reports for several
weeks and thenhis marks suddenly
took a tremendous slump. His father
viewed the last one in evident disap
proval. "How is this,- son?" he asked.
"Teacher's fault," said the boy
"How is it the teacher's fault?"
"She moved the little boy that sat
next to me."
"I wish, Mrs. Nurich, that you
would come over and see my apiary
"Thank you, but I never was In
terested in monkeys." Buffalo fit
jress. " "
"Yes, and I'm the sole beneficiary!