Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
(Cooper and Henderson.)
. "I was at a banquet last night, a"
"Did you get much to eat?"
"Sure. They had ham, roast pork
and cabbage and pigs' knuckles. I
never ate so much bread in all my
," life. After the banquet they threw
flowers at me.
"' "That must have been fine."
i "Yes, but they forgot to take them
out of the pots."
A "Do you know how much $5,000
v "I can show you how you can earn
'Whom do you want killed?"
"What is your'name?"
"Isaac Fltzpatrick Cohen."
"What's the Fitzpatrick for?"
- JUST A ROOKIE
Jack Dunn, manager of the Rich
mond team, was trying out a bunch
. of rookies in the ball park last spring,
gwhen a newcomer blew In who said'
he was an outfielder. He was a tall
and robust youth, very green, but
with plenty of confidence in himself,
J and he praised his own ability so
if highly that finally Dunn who needed
itVa-good outfielder, said:
tj A "All right, sonny. Trot out in the
imeft field and I'll bat you out some
til Instead of takine his nosition. tho.
jujxecrult stood still and gazed about
JWjUA&U A1X C WUtA2U DUlb Ul WOT. 1 UC11
IT Xl- t'l J .- 1 J
BcmLuuiug ma iieau, u uaiieu confidentially:
"Say Mr. Dunn, where is left field
on these grounds?" Everybody's.
Nora (seltzer bottle in hand)
That's a good idea,ma'am,havin'soda
land water in them bottles with the
squirts. I've done the floor in no
time, and there's three bottles left out
of the dozen yet Philadelphia Eve
ning Ledger. "
A simpleton started to school
With a book called "The Science o
The professor said, "Kid,
Get your coat and your lid.
We have no classes here for a fool!"
Vicar's Daughter I'm .sorry to
hear you were at the" Methodist tea
meeting, Miss Jones. I can not think
what arguments have caused you to
change your creed.
' Miss Jones Well, miss", first it was
their sultany cake, but, It was their
'am sangwidges as converted me,
THE ONLY KIND
On the train out Medford way
Subbubs got into conversation with
a strangerwho remarked: .
"I see you are putting up a good
man ynew buildings."
"Yes," answered Subbubs, "newl
buildings are the only kind we pufri
up." - J