Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1756-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
TODAY'S BELLRINGER Vincent Astor, the young New York millionaire, knows dozens of the f aimers' Who dwell ar6und Rhine cliff, his Hudson river estate. Onc h oVerheard a boasting group around the WeBt Shore station. "When I was a boy out in Utah," said one old geezer, "the farm was sq big that when a man set out to plow a furrow in the spring he harvested his drops on the way back in fall." "Huh!1' grunted another veteran, "ih Colorado when we Bent young married couples out to milk the cows their children brought home the milk." o o , HIS BY RIGHT An Irish chauffeur in San Fran cisco, Who had been having trouble with numerous small boys in the neighborhood of his stand, discovered one day on examining his car that there was a dead cat on one of the seats. In his anger he tespied a po liceman. Holding up the carcass, he exclainy ed: "ThiB is how I am insulted. What am I to do with It?" "Well, don't you know? Take it straight to headquarters and if it is not claimed within a month it be comes your property." Harper's Magazine. ANYHOW, HE TRIED The dinner was given by a colored man named Ebenezer White, and the guest of the evening "was George Washington Green, chief deacon of the little church that White occasion ally attended. Grace, of course, was eloquently said, and at its conclusion Mr. White began to carve the chicken. Then Deacon Green became facetious. "Brudder White," he smilingly re marked, "do dat nex' do' neighbor ob you'n keep chickens?" "No, sah," came the prompt re sponse of Mr. White, "but he try hard 'aufl to keep 'em!" N. Y. World. AT THE HALLOWE'EN PARTY "If I try to kiss you will you call your brother?" "Yes, but he's not here tonight" o c STARTLING ANSWER Mr. Brown had just had a tele phone put in, connecting his office and house and was very much, pleased with it "I tell you, the telephone is a won derful thing. I want you to dine with me this evening and I will notify Mrs. Brown to expect you." Speaking through the telephone: "My friend Smith will dine with us this evening." Then to his friend: "Now listen and hear how plainly her reply comes back." Mrs. Brown's reply came back with startling distinctness. "Ask your friend Smith if he thinks we keep a hotel" o o FOILED "Goodby, dear," said'hubby as he started on a. business trip. "I'll write to you every day while I'm gone." "You'd better," replied his wife. "I found those letters you had written in advance and burned them up, so you'll have to do it all over again." N. Y. World. mmmmMmMmm