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Newspaper Page Text
Vincent Astor, the young New
York millionaire, knows dozens of
the f aimers' Who dwell ar6und Rhine
cliff, his Hudson river estate.
Onc h oVerheard a boasting
group around the WeBt Shore station.
"When I was a boy out in Utah,"
said one old geezer, "the farm was sq
big that when a man set out to plow
a furrow in the spring he harvested
his drops on the way back in fall."
"Huh!1' grunted another veteran,
"ih Colorado when we Bent young
married couples out to milk the cows
their children brought home the
o o ,
HIS BY RIGHT
An Irish chauffeur in San Fran
cisco, Who had been having trouble
with numerous small boys in the
neighborhood of his stand, discovered
one day on examining his car that
there was a dead cat on one of the
seats. In his anger he tespied a po
liceman. Holding up the carcass, he exclainy
ed: "ThiB is how I am insulted. What
am I to do with It?"
"Well, don't you know? Take it
straight to headquarters and if it is
not claimed within a month it be
comes your property." Harper's
ANYHOW, HE TRIED
The dinner was given by a colored
man named Ebenezer White, and the
guest of the evening "was George
Washington Green, chief deacon of
the little church that White occasion
Grace, of course, was eloquently
said, and at its conclusion Mr. White
began to carve the chicken. Then
Deacon Green became facetious.
"Brudder White," he smilingly re
marked, "do dat nex' do' neighbor ob
you'n keep chickens?"
"No, sah," came the prompt re
sponse of Mr. White, "but he try hard
'aufl to keep 'em!" N. Y. World.
AT THE HALLOWE'EN PARTY
"If I try to kiss you will you call
"Yes, but he's not here tonight"
Mr. Brown had just had a tele
phone put in, connecting his office
and house and was very much,
pleased with it
"I tell you, the telephone is a won
derful thing. I want you to dine with
me this evening and I will notify Mrs.
Brown to expect you." Speaking
through the telephone: "My friend
Smith will dine with us this evening."
Then to his friend: "Now listen and
hear how plainly her reply comes
Mrs. Brown's reply came back with
"Ask your friend Smith if he
thinks we keep a hotel"
"Goodby, dear," said'hubby as he
started on a. business trip. "I'll write
to you every day while I'm gone."
"You'd better," replied his wife. "I
found those letters you had written
in advance and burned them up, so
you'll have to do it all over again."
N. Y. World.