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Newspaper Page Text
new york. It is all ways a good
u"-tjiing for peepel to know what they
f gre taiKing about and wnat tney are
talking & that wood keep them outer
;iots of truhhel and miss takes.
$r that is how a lawyer put a pur-.
Sfeckly good devorsee soot on the fritz
t$; kep his kliant from getting a bun
del of allymoney for when he got
2hrew with his speech evry body was
'Rlaffing so hard the cuppel made up
" and that put the kibosh on anny fur
thlslawyer for the dame who sood
her husband was telling the joorey
. rhnw had his kliant felt about it &
Mliod frend husbend had beat it out &
Speft her home all alone with the baby
M by golly he sure did paint a pick-
hure of wo and sorrer for tha dame
& evrybody in the cort room was
fteerly crying and felt like sending
the husbend to the penitentiary for
& it wood have been all rite if the
lawyer had known when he said
anuff, but he 'went rite on and yelled
to the joorey this stuff:
"think my hdarers of a pore neg
leckted wife, all aloan in .the grate
dreerey house, rocking the cradel
with one foot and wiping away her
nartDraKing tears wun me otner
& evry body hollered rite out with
U- there haw haws inkluding the wife
and her husband.
4- - "We want some one to play Sam
son," explained the movie manager.
"Do you think you could wreck the
Can. I? Lve been a baggage-man
ir eleven years.
Gen. Leonard Wood was riding on
a local train from New York to Bos
ton. Across from the general sat
an irascible old gentleman, who
seemed impatient at the train's fre-
Finally, when a stop of five min-,
utes occurred, the old gentleman
hailed the conductor.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Taking on water," came the reply.
"Well, why in heaven's name don't
you use another teaspoon!" fumed
the irritated passenger.
HAD A COMPLAINT
The angry citizen puffed into the
office of the city editor.
"See here, sir," he yelled, "what do
you mean by publishing my resigna
tion from my political office in this
"You gave the story out yourself,
didn't you?" asked the editor.
"Of course I did," replied the an
gry citizen. "But your fool paper
prints it under the Head of Public
"Do you think marriages are 'mads
in heaven?' "
"No. But heaven only knows wMy
some of them are pulled offP . r