Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
iuumuwjjlu, ' "iiiiijin'-'j'ii".1 ai
Til attend to you in a minute!"
was the. favorite remark of a certain
' mother to any of her children who
" were .naughty; and the delinquent
knew that this usually meant a whip
3 One day she sent her four-year-old
- son to the grocer's for some flour. It
was his first errand, and, much to
his mother's surprise, he returned
"Where's the flour?" she asked.
"I I 'didn't get it," replied the
youngster. "I was frightened by the
y "Nonsense; he won't hurt you!"
' admonished the parent sternly. "Go
, back at once and get the flour!"
But again the boy came back with
out it, and this time his eyes were full
f "What's the matter?" asked moth-
" "Boo-o-hoo-of" wailed the child.
"I'm afraid of that man. Each time
" I went In he said, 'All right, sonny,
111 'tend to you in a minute'!"
ALL IN THE NAME
A peddler once called at the front
c door of a house and asked for the
man or woman of the house.
gan, when the master appeared,
"that will interest you. It's a collar
' button uf de best kind. You perhaps
haf read uf it in de papers. It's called
"the Fault collar button."
The man of the house was puzzled.
"Why," he asked, "do you call it
"Because," returned the peddler,
"it is so easy to find!"
And he sold a dozen of them.
Johnny How's your understudy
J Prima Donna I don't know and I
Johnny That's unkind. She's al
ways ready to take your part. Phil
adelphia Evening Ledger,
SPEAKING OF WAITING
Guest See here, waiter, I've been
waiting here half an hour!
Waiter That's nothing, boss, I've
been waiting here eight years.
PRIDE IN THE DAILY TASK
A quaint story is told to exemplify
the pride that every man should take
in the work by which he makes a
Two street sweepers, seated on a
curbstone, were discussing a com
rade who had died the day before.
"Bill certainly was a good sweep
er," said one.
"Y-e-s," conceded the other
thoughtfully, "but don't you think
he was a little weak around the lamp
posts?" Ladies' Home Journal.
A particular noisyand conceited
officer swanked around the rookie
camp recently held at Ft Sheridan.
It was durjng' rifle practice.
"131 show you how to shoot, boys!"
he said, grabbing a gun. He fired and
missed. Thinking quickly, he said:
"That's how you shoot!" He fired
again and hit the bull's eye. "And
that's how I shoot," he added.
.. V. - J u. . UJ