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niture that's old? How do I know
that somebody ain't sat down on
them Louis Quinze chairs before
"Only kings, sir."
"Well, I don't hold by kings," re
plied the millionaire. "You got to
prove them things is what you claim
'em to be." So saying he walked out
of the store.
. Fifteen thousand profit meant a
good deal to the seller. That night
be telephdned to Mr. Jumper.
"I have summoned all my agents
home by wire. They are bringing the
makers," he announced. "The cost
will almost beggarme, and I would
rather be beggared to prove my hon
or than make a modest profit and be
thought a rogue."
"You bring them makers to swear
to their goods, and I'll pay their trav
eling expenses," replied the rich man.
And the dealer's despair changed to
elation as he saw his $15,000 of profit
double at a bound.
It was exactly two weeks later
when a procession of economically
dressed gentlemen called on the mil-'
honaire. The dealer, who was at
their head, ushered them into Mr.
Juniper's completed but empty li
brary. "This, sir, is Mr. Louis Quinze," he
said, introducing a poetical-looking
old man, with flowing ringlets white
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Quinze,"
said Mr. Jumper. "How about them
"Made in my workshop in the Rue
boulevard, under my personal super
intendence, sir, to which I am pre
pared to affix my affidavit," answer
ed Mr. Quinze. "All my goods are
brand new, and positively guaranteed
to give satisfaction."
"Mr. Louis Seize," announced the
dealer, presenting a middle-aged man
in a bottle-green coat and nankeen
trousers, who walked with a limp.
"I, Mr. Jumper, am Mr. Seize," said
thto claimant "Those tables that you
ordered were manufactured by me 1
in person. Best mahogany, all of it,
newly imported from the forests of
South America. To that I am pre
pared to swear before any justice of
"Humph!" grunted Mr. Jumper.
"Who are you?" he continued, turn
ing to a dandyish young man in full
evening dress, with a large ribbon" of
several colors in his buttonhole.
"Mr. Sheraton, at your service,"
answered the young man. "I was in
structed to make some rockers to
your order. I trust that everything
has been satisfactory. As you are
aware, the name Sheraton stands for
integrity. Our advertising bill each
month exceeds ten thousand dollars.
My father left me a business of which
I have endeavored to show myself
worthy. All goods are sold f. o. b.,
but we take back unsatisfactory
pieces and replace them with others."
"Ugh!" said Mr. Jumper, shivering
"This is Mr. Adam," said the deal
er, introducing an elderly patriarch,
with flowing hair over his shoulders.
"Yes, and I made your beds. Any
thing wrong with 'em?" demanded
"Sure you didn't use 'em in Eden?"
inquired Mr. Jumper.
"You are pleased to jest," Mr. Adam
replied. "I am not the Mr. Adam from
Eden, sir, but a totally different per
sonage, I assure you. And my beds
have never been occupied."
"Lastly, I present Mr. Mission,"
said the dealer, bringing forward 'a.
rather timi'd young fellow who show
ed a disposition to lurk-in the back
ground. "Mr. Mission, who gave his
name to the excellent period furni
ture of the day, came from California
in order, to assure you, Mr. Jumper
of the genuine quality of his wares."
Alpheus T. Jumper jumped up and
stood on his feet, facing the gang.
"You are the most infernal pack of
liars that I have ever seen," he said.
"What do you mean?" stammered
"What do I mean? Simply this.