Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
IWM ill Wfc m H m ! it m
A FOU0WP :-
n. y. i bet there is one hick who is
? having the laff of his life & there's
k- a smart feller over in jersey who has
g ordered a smaller hat to ware
J this city feller was walking to
bloomfield, which is about a mile
rs from newark, and he was in a hurry,
"! for he had a date with a swell wren
"but the hoofing was getting hot for
him so he sets down and wates a
purty soon along comes a farmer
' driving a waggon
hello, coititassel, hollered the
smart city guy, let me ride to bloom
field with you, & without stopping
a minit to let the farmer reply, he
hops in & sings out, letter rip, old
the farmer never says 1 word
T when they rode on for a while the
jf city chap says it is further than i
u thought it was, i am glad i grabbed
" your turnip car for a ride
', the farmer never said nothing.
& they rode on a few more miles
say, how far is it to bloomfield the
, city man said
" , well, replys the farmer, its about
25,000 miles the way we are going
now, but if you get out and walk
'back the way we come it will be just
'9 miles, you can walk back 8 miles to
where you was & then hoof it a other
jw , o o
TODAY'S BELtRINGER "
"Say, there's ball game today and
I wanta go," said Elihu Root's office
boy one afternoon last summer.
"That isn't the way to ask, boy," cor
rected Mr. Hoot. "Now you sit in my
chair and Til show you."
The boy took the chair and the
eminent lawyer approached him.
"Please sir," he,began, "if you can
spare me "
"Why certainly, Jimmy," broke in
the office boy, "and here's 50c to pay
your way in!"
WANTED TO KNOW
"My dear,- you ought to pass up
frivolous thingB and takg en Interest
in deep subjects. Take 'history, for
instance. Here is an interesting
item. Gessler, the tyrant, put up a
hat for the Swiss to salute." The lady
was a trifle interested.
"How was it trimmed?" she inquir
ed. Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
BE THANKFUL, OLD TOP
Many people don't appreciate bran
died cherries so much as they do the
Poet I fear I haven't written any
thing that will live.
Friend Be thankful that you are
alivf in spite of what you have writ-
,ija.nwiria-V -. fe;y.;'X'XYriVi'i'kl