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Newspaper Page Text
The captain had not been long
married when he was ordered into
camp. The camp was in plain sight
of the captain's residence, but then
it was still a separation, and to light
en this terrible condition it was ar
ranged that the bereaved husband
arid wife should signal to each other
often with handkerchiefs.
It was on the second day that the
young wife was seated on the porch
"Tell me, Jane," she said, "is the
captain still signaling?"
"Yes, ma'am," answered the maid.
"Then keep waving your handker
chief. I want to finish this novel."
At the same moment, in camp, an
officer from an adjoining company
stepped up to the captain.
"I say, old fellow," he asked, "why
do you keep that man out there all
day waving a handkerchief?"
"Oh, it's merely a bit of signal
code practice" for him."
Frank Daniels, the musical com
edy star, has now entered moving-
pictures. Recently Mr. Daniels and
Herbert Prior were leaving the
Lamb's club in New York when they
espied a drunken individual leaning
against a show window.
"Now go back to bed, Maria," this
party was saying, "I'm all right."
Daniels and Prior looked in the
window and saw a wax figure in a
fancy night dress.
THIS OUGHT TO RAZE A SMILE
"I've got a razor at home just like
the New York subway," vouchsafed
the first vaudeville clown.
"How so?" asked the second
clown, accommodating as usuaL
"If s hollow ground!"
THAT DENTIST AGAIN
"I've been having another tussle
with the dentist"
"Who came out best?
"ILjsa&AJixaStZ. Jaiten ifrfijah-Jfrllnw.
"Here comes my tailor, let's cros3
"Why? To avoid having to pay
"No to avoid his asking me to
r "D'y want all the road.?" shouted
an irate motor driver, tooting for all
he was worth in a narrow country
lane. "Pull aside and let me pass."
"Who, steady now!" grinned the
farmer from the top of a load of hay.
"I dunno as I'm in a hurry!"
"You are looking for trouble, my
man!" spluttered the fellow in the
car, as the motor throbbed and
fumed "impatiently. "Are you going to
move or not?"
"I don't know as I be in any hurry
"Seemed in hurry enough to let
that carriage pass just now," smiled
the angry one.
"Oh, ay! But that horse wuz eat
in' my hay. There ain't no danger
o' you eatin' it, I reckon you don't
look hungry!" Tit-Bits.
CANT FOOL HIM ,
"She's against vivisection."
"Yes I found that out when I
tried to open my heart to her' T2tf