Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
-i?'r '-SeW!Fgw' T
new york a dame what used to
live in cleavland and calyfomia got
married to a portugeese feller who
is a barron which is verry nobel over
in urope but dont buy anny bred and
butter in the u. s.
well, laitly the cuppel have been
having purty ruff sledding, what with
the dame getting down to the bottom
of the fambly's dough barrel and the
barron not doing anny more wurk
than a rabbet does wbissling, and
they was having a dooce of a time
so last week the dame who is a
barroness desided to cut loose from
him and let him dig for his self
& so after the barron had gone
down to the club for the afternoon
the barroness says to her hired gurl
i gess we will move the barren's
trunk out and set if on the porch and
i will telefoae him to send for it be
cause i dont want him cluttering up
the house anny more
v all rite, missus, the gurl replys and
they beats it up to the barron's room
to get his trunk
- 1st they throwed all his stuff into
the trunk and locked it up, and then
they started to carrie it out but the
trunk woodent carrie worth a cent
and they calls in a man but it aint no
, by that time the barroness said we
will take his close out and then we
can move it, which they done but
fcwhen they got the trunk empty they
found out that the barron had nailed
it to the floor, & he is still living thera.1
TODAY'S BELLRINGER "
United -States Sen. Isaac Stephen
son of Wisconsin was campaigning
some years ago inhis native state.
With him traveled old BUI Hite, a
pal and fellow campaigner.
"Bill and I used to suffer from al
ternate insomnia," said the senator
recently. "That is, the one who got
to sleep first kept the other awake."
"Now we'll play zoo,1' said Willie,
"and I'll be the elephant."
"That will be fine," said Aunt Ma
bel, "but what will I be?"
"Oh, you can be the nice lady what
feeds the elephant with peanuts and
candy," explained Willie. Ladies'
THIS WOULD NEVER DO
School Trustee (to poorly paid
teacher) I think we should put this
motto on the wall over your desk:
"Knowledge Is Wealth."
Teacher That would never do.
"You see, every kid in the room
knows what salary I get!
A LAME ONE
Pa Why were you late to school
Son I slipped on a banana peel
and hurt my foot-
Pa Son. that's a lame excuse! .
, mm . --.-aia