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Newspaper Page Text
The Pennsylvania station in New
York was crowded. Busy porters
were unloading baggage from huge
trucks. The din was fearfuL
Trunks were being thumped and
smashed on the platform by husky
porters and a group of helpless tour
ists gazed in sad eyed amazement at
the mistreatment of their baggage.
Suddenly, when the smashing was
at its heighth, the foreman came
from his booth, and thundered to the
"Say, you guys, what do you mean
by handling trunks that way?"
The eyes of the tourists brightened.
Wonder of all wonders a baggage
man with, a conscience! However,
their hopes soon died. The foreman
"You're making too many dents in
that concrete platform."
AND "HEN" DID
A couple of Pennsylvania farmers,
a man and wife, drove from theit
farm to the nearest railroad. The
man, small and scared, sat meekly
beside his wife, -who filled two-thirds
of the seat and only spoke to com
mand. Finally the station was reached.
The woman bustled in, settled her
numerous bundles, and sat down.
Looking over her goods and chattels,
she suddenly missed something, and,
looking about, discovered that her
husband had remained outside on the
platform. She rapped sharply on the
"Hen!" she called, pointing to the
bench beside her. "Come set!"
Captain (to Murphy in trench)
Why are you getting on so slowly in
digging this trench?
Private Murphy Faith, captain,
the roof in there is so low I hov to
cotne outside to swinp me pick in'
thin walk in and hit the ground!
I WAS STANDING ON THECOBNES
SMOKING- YESTERDAY. WHEN -
-A SWELL 5KIUT SPOKE TO
riE (to be cormNUEP.)
George M. Cohan, the actor and,
playwright, was crossing Broadway
at Times square, New York city, one
snowy night in. January. Suddenly,
from behind the subway entrance
stepped a very dirty tramp.
"I'm tryin' to get back to my poor
old mother," said the panhandler.
"She ain't seen me face for ten long
"I think you are speaking the
truth," said Cohan. "Why don't you,
wash it?" ,
DIFFICULTIES OF DRILL
Sergeant McPherson there! Mc
Pherson! PuTl in yer stummick. Dye
think yer a tank in the gas squad?
McPherson Right ye are, sairjint.
Sergeant Duffy! Man, man, lino
upl Line up, I say! Yer two feet
to the front, with McPherson pulkj