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Newspaper Page Text
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AND IT OFTEN DOES
The formidable trustees of the lit
tle rural school were paying their
dreaded annual visit and the primary
class was being examined in nature
"No, children," said the nervous
young teacher, holding up an apple
blossom, "what comes after this
"A little green apple," shouted the
class in chorus.
The teacher felt that the worst
was over. "Good!" she said. "And
now, Johnny, can you tell us what
comes after the little green apple?"
"Yes'm!" roared Johnny; "stom
ach ache!" Ladies' Home Journal.
One day, as Pat halted at the top
of the river bank, a man famous for
his inquisitive mind asked:
"How long have you hauled water
for the village, my good man?"
"Tin years, sor."
"Ah, how many loads do you take
in a day?"
"From tin to fifteen, sor."
"Ah, yes! Now I have a problem
for you. How much water at this
rate have you hauled in all?"
The driver of the watering car
jerked his thumb backward toward
the river and replied:
"All the water yez don't see there
SDDDEItlY A QUEER LOOKINfrCHAP WITH
HEAVILY U1EPMCE CONF?ONTEP HE-
HE WAS nYTAHQg-iriACE EXCUSES
STRICTLY CASH. BASIS
Shortly after the reconstruction
period began, an old Southern plant
er met one of his negroes whom he
had not seen since the latter's liber
ation. "Well, well!" said the "planter.
"What are you doing now, Uncle
"Ise a-preachin' of de gospil."
"What! You preaching?"
"Yassah, marster, I'se a-preachin'."
"Well, well! Do you use notes?"
"Nossuh. At de fust I use notes,
but now I de-mands de cash."
-BUTHE MADE AWW FACE AMD-
Wm, J. Bryan was once attending
the Nebraska state fair at Lincoln.
He tells of an old maid who heard
it said that a ride on the merry-go-round
was exciting enough to scare
a person out of 10 years' growth.
"I am told," says Col. Bryan, "that
the lady in question bought 5 worth
of tickets and spent a whole day rid
ing on the tning!"
"Ma, kin I play with my rocking
"No not on Sunday, Billy."
"Well, I'll play mine's a milkman's
"Willie, name something danger
ous to get near to and which has
"An. automobile r i
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