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Newspaper Page Text
Supper was in progress and the
father was telling about a row which
took place in front of his store that
"The first thing I saw was one
man deal the other a sounding blow
and then a crowd gathered. The
man who was struck ran and
grabbed a large shovel he had been
using in the street and rushed back
his eyes blazing fiercely. I thought
he would surely knock the other
man's brains out, and I stepped right
in betwen them."
The young son of the family had
become so .hugely interested that he
had stopped eating his pudding. So
proud was he of his father's valor,
his ey.es fairly shone, and he cried:
"He couldn't knock any brains out
of you, could he, father?"
Father looked at him long and
earnestly, but the lad's countenance
was frank and open.
Some time ago the Smiths attend-'
ed a reception where they met a man
named Brown. On the way home,
while exchanging opinions of the
guests, Brown was mentioned.
"Speaking of that man Brown,"
vigorously remarked Smith, "he cer
tainly has an effeminate way of talk
ing." "Why, John!" was the wondering
rejoinder of Mrs. Smith. "How can
: you say that? He certainly has a
very loud and masculine voice."
"Yes, I know he has," explained
Smith, "but what I mean is that he
talks all the time." Philadelphia
HE WOULD IMPROVE IT
"What do you think of our scheme
for the Christmas decorations?" she
inquired. "It is holly over laurel
"Very good," he replied "but per
sonally, I should prefer mistletoe over
yew." Ladles' Home Journal.
Arnold Daly, the actor, tells of an
Irishman in Philadelphia who for
years operated on the street cars.
Once an inspector was watching
Foley ringing up the fares. The in
spector stepped forward.
"Foley," he said, "how is it that
you have ten passengers and only
nine fares rung up?"
Foley looked around at the pas
"There's wan too many uv yez on
this car," he shouted. "Git out of
here, wan of yez!"
Austin was a commercial traveler,
and one day at a small hotel in a
southern town he ordered for break
fast two boiled eggs. When the old
darky who served him returned he
brought him three.
"Why in the world did you bring
me three eggs?" queried Austin. "I
only ordered two!"
"Yes, sah," replied the old darky,
with a smile and bow, "I know you
did order two, sah, but I brought
three because I jest natcherly felt
dat one of dem might fail you, sah."
"I'll get even with ma some of
"Ill get a chance to lick her-grani-children
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