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Newspaper Page Text
PAID IN HIS OWN COIN
In the days of the country inn and
when traveling overland was done on
horseback or in carriages, the ec
centric John Randolph of Roanoke
was passing over a road that was
new to him. He stopped at an inn for
dinner. The meal being over, the
driver hitched in his team and was
ready to resume the journey, when
the innkeeper, doubtless with the
best intentions, inquired of Randolph
where he was going.
"I've paid my bill and it's none of
your business," gruffly answered the
About half a mile from the inn
Randolph found that the road forked.
He, of course, did not know which
end to take, so he sent the driver
back to inquire of the innkeeper.
"You can tell Mr. Randolph that
he has paid his bill and that he can
take whichever way he chooses," re
turned the innkeeper. Holland's
Some time since an esteemed citk
zen named Smith was stricken with
a fever and for a day or two he was
unconscious. On the third day he
began to get a grasp on things again
and glanced around the room.
"What is it, dear?" asked Smith's
devoted wife, hastening to his side
"What can I get for you?"
"Where am I?" responded Smith,
still a little bewildered as he glanced
back and forth. "Where am I? In
"No, dear," softly cooed the lov
ing wife. "I am still with you."
David Starr Jordan, the peace ad
vocate, tells of an Irishman who was
unable to wake up in time for work
in the morning. Every alarm clock
he bought failed to arouse him. Fi
nally he brought home a huge bell.
"Begorra," says Pat, "I'm goin' f
ring it ivery morning at 6 to wake
WHERE THE PLAN FAILED
A white man, walking along a road
where an old colored man was white
washing a fence, noticed that the
brush he was using contained very
"Look here, Rastus," exclaimed
the man, "why don't you get a brush,
with more bristles in it?"
"What fo', Mistah Smith, what fo'?
"What for?" replied Mr. Smith.
"Why, if you had a brush with mora
bristles in it you could do twice as
"Dat's all right, Mistah Smith,"
said Rastus, "but I hain't got twice
as much work to do."
IT USUALLY IS
"Where did you go to school?"
"Yale. I was college bred a four
UP TO DATE
"What's v the matter with you,
Cora? You haven't been looking
"Nothing in particular."
"Then you must see a specialist,
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