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Newspaper Page Text
SETTLED OUT OF COURT
"Well," said the lawyer, having
listened carefully to his client's
statement, "you've got about the
best case I ever heard. My dear sir,
you can't help winning it, whatever
court you take it to. I shall be only
too glad to assist you in the matter."
"Thanks!" said the prospective
client "Thanks very much!" Then,
grabbing his hat, he made a speedy
exit from the office.
"What!" exclaimed the astonished
lawyer. "Are you going?"
"Yes," replied the other. "I'm just
going to try to settle this case out
"But, my dear sir, why waste
money? As Fve already told you,
that's one of the best cases I've ever
"Maybe it is," said the fickle client,
as he hastened down the stairs, "but
ndt for me. I told you the other fel
A LARGE FRATERNITY
"Yes," said the principal of the
young ladies' seminary to the proud
parent, "you ought to be very happy,
my dear sir, to be the father of so
large a family, all the members of
which appear to be so devoted to one
"Large family! Devoted!" gasped
the old gentleman in amazement
""What on earth do you mean,
"Why, yes, indeed," said the prin
cipal, beaming through -her. glasses.
""No fewer than eleven of Edith's
brothers have been here this term to
take her out, and she tells me she ex
pcts the tall one with the blue eyes
again tomorrow." Tit-Bits.
1A I KUUL UIKL.
"I'm not coinc to that female bar-
ht&W berhoD asain. There's a rude eirl
there, don't you know."'
"What did she say?"
"Why, she looked at my mustawsh
and awsked me if I would have it
''SBonged off or rubbed in."
DM THE CAMPUS
Co-ed I understand Eddie Harris
flunked in his studies didn't pass.
,. Student What shall I do now?
Co-ed What do you mean? '
Student Eddie was the only man
I knew who owned a dress suit!
"So you are from New York?" said
an English woman to Laurette Tay
lor the actress at a reception in Lon
don. "I supposed of course you came
from Boston. I supposed, in fact,
that all intelligent Americans came
"Why did you think that?" asked
"Oh, a Boston lady told me so,"
answered the English woman.
"I'm not going to worry any more.
I've hired a professional worrier to
do it for me. His salary is $500 a
"Where are you going to get the
money to pay him?"
"That's the first thing hell have
to worry about"