OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, December 31, 1915, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-12-31/ed-1/seq-17/

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FIGURE-ATIVELY SPEAKING
Things were slack in the office, as
he manager was on a holiday. The
chief clerk thought, therefore, it was
his chance of wooing the stenog
rapher. "Just one kiss," he begged fervently.
"Certainly not!" replied the girl
qoldly. "I'd as soon kiss a snake as
you!"
"That'a all right then, said the
man calmly. "I saw you kiss a snake
yesterday."
"W-w-what!"
' "Yes, you kissed the bookkeeper
y and he's an adder, you know."
COMMON SENSE
"I wouldn't go out at the end qf
every act, my boy. Beastly bad
' form."
, "i don't go out to drink. I tele
, phone home and get bulletins from
; the maid about the condition of the
f pan under the ice box. My wife can't
CZ. enjoy the opera unless she knows
there is no danger of that pan run.-
ULUg uver.
0 0
V TODAY'S BELLRINGER
Wm. J. Burns, the famous detec
,tive, tells of once putting two burg
lars through the "third degree." Fi--nally,
after the leader had confessed,
he loudly made this resolution:
i "S'elp me, boss, it's the last time
I'll ver go in with an ex-plumber.
That guy always came off without
tfle tools."
o o
AT THE FRONT
Private A Wot kind of cigarets
have you got?
ivate B (handing him one)
'Flor de Kitchener."
." Private A (puffing) They'd floor
tetter men than Kitchener.
o o
ALAS, POOR VENUS
Corntossle (at art museum) Ma
ine, the sign on that Venus de Milo
Isays "Hands off." Now, any foo
fcould see that
GOOD ADVICE FOLLOWED
Delia Father fussed yesterday be
cause I was going shopping in these
light clothes.
Stella What did you do?
Delia Oh, rather than argue I
obeyed him I put on heavier ear
rings. o o
HENPECKED
s-.. ..
"John, I bought you a bottle of thai
new hair restorer."
"Thanks. It's very thoughtful of
you to try to put back somfci of the
hair you have robbed me of Jane."
. .. ?- A--aa,

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