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Newspaper Page Text
REALLY MORE ODD
A young woman was recently in
troduced to a voluble old lady as
"sister to So-and-So, the artist." In
stantly the latter exclaimed:
"I should have known the relation
ship, my dear, by the resemblance.
Why, it is perfectly startling. I never
saw two faces more exactly alike in
contour and "
"But, Mrs. C," interrupted the girl.
"I am only his sister-in-law."
"Which makes it all the more won
derful," continued the other, without
displaying the least embarrassment
or hesitation. Pittsburgh Chronicle
Telegraph. o o
JUAQUIN MILLER'S RETORT
Joaquin Miller was once adver
tised to lecture at San Diego. A
smarty who thought it safe to insult
him approached him as he was
standing at the hotel counter and,
throwing down a 50-cent piece, ex
claimed: "I will go and hear you talk
your rot tonight Here, give me a
Joaquin pocketed the coin, pro
duced a ticket and placing a 25-cent
piece on it, exclaimed: "Children and
fools, half price."
E. H. Sothern, the famous Shakes
pearean actor once made the ac
quaintance of a "hamfat" actor who
was playing in stock.
'One night," relates Mr. Sothern,
"this actor was in the climax of his
drama. He strode across the 'stage
and said hoarsely: 'Now is the time
" 'You bet!' called a voice from the
gallery, 'we've been waitin' long
enough, governor!' "
"She says I am dull," said the
youth in the street car languidly.
"You should crack a few jokes oc
casionally; ask her to marry you or
something like that," replied his
jp ever &
Mabel Father says Bill stays too
long that late hours are bad for
Maid What did you say, miss?
Mabel I said they may be bad for
one but they're good for two. ,
"What do you think. A letter came
by mistake to my grandmother ask
ing her to join the army."
"Well, why couldn't she join the
"Miss Dimpsey, will you be mine?"
"Then will you let me be" yours-'
; , ni'M