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Newspaper Page Text
REALLY MORE ODD
A young woman was recently in
troduced to a voluble old lady as
"sister to So-and-So, the artist." In
stantly the latter exclaimed:
"I should have known the relation
ship, my dear, by the resemblance.
Why, it is perfectly startling. I never
saw two faces more exactly alike in
contour and "
"But, Mrs. C," interrupted the girl.,
"I am only his sister-in-law."
"Which makes it all the more won
derful," continued the other, without
displaying the least embarrassment
or hesitation. Pittsburgh Chronicle
Telegraph. o o
JUAQUIN MILLER'S RETORT
Joaquin Miller was once adver
tised to. lecture t at San Diego. A
smarty who thought it safe to insult
him approached him as. he was
standing at the hotel counter and,
throwing down a 50-cent piece, ex
claimed: "I will go and hear you talk
your rot tonight Here, give me a
Joaquin pocketed the coin, pro
duced a ticket and placing a 25-cenl
piece on it exclaimed: "Children and
fools, half, price."
B. H. Sothern, the famous Shakes
pearean actor once made the ac
quaintance of a "hamfa" actor who
was playing in stock.
'One night," relates Mr. Sothern,
"this actor was in the climax of his
drama. He strode across the stage
and said hoarsely: 'Now is the time
" Tou bet!' called a voice from the
gallery, 'we've been waitin' long
enough, governor!' "
"She says I am dull," said the
youth in the street car languidly.
"You should crack a few jokes oc
casionally; ask her to marry you or
something like that;" replied his
Mabel Father says Bill stays too
long that late hours are bad for
Maid What did you say, miss?
Mabel I said they may be bad for
one but they're good for two.
r-t, attics- wAajMFf rW" " 1 .
"What do you think. A letter came
by mistake to my grandmother ask
ing her to join the army.''
"Well, why couldnt' she join the
'granny dears?' "
"Miss Dimpsey, will you be mine?
"Then will you let me be yowca,m