Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
During the lesson one afternoon a
violent thunder storm arose, and, to
lessen the fright of the children, the
teacher began telling of the wonders
of the elements.
"And now, Jimmy," she asked,
"why is it that lightning never strikes
twice in the same place?"
"Because," said Jimmy confident
ly, "after it hits once the same place
ain't there any more." Ladies'
Rev. Chas. W. Aked tells of seeing
two tots hurriedly leaving -the vesti
bule of his church during the Sunday
school period on Sunday morning.
"Why," said the minister, "you are
surely not going home now?"
"Yeth," lisped the older of the
two, a girl, "Willie thwallowed hith
collection money, tho we got to go!"
HER LITTLE JOKE
"What's the difference," inquired
the landlady, "between a turkey din
ner and a mess of stewed prunes?",
"I don't know," said the solemn
"In that case," she continued, "I
might as well save money and serve
NINE POINTS OF THE LAW
"Blessed are the meek, for they
shall inherit the earth," quoted the
"They may inherit it, all right,"
said the backslider, "but" they never
seem to take possession." Judge.
Mrs. Newlywed John, dear, what
are the best things to put in a Christ
J. D. Teeth, my dear, teeth.
WE ADMIT THIS IS A FISH YARN
Old Boy Wei, sonny, catch any
thing?" Sonny No, I don't think the
worm was half trying!
" 'Snuff to make any guy sore," says
Wee Willie. "Ma and pa just had their
wooden weddin' an' all the neighbors
GOT 'EM ALL
Mess Cook 'Ere, Bill, next time
you send up a crate of .chickens see
that they don't get loose. I've spent
hours scouring the neighborhood and
only been able to find ten.
Orlerly Ush, 'Erb, 'ush! I only
sent yer six! Tid-Bits.
gsff- . . .
"Let's go an' get that old duffer's
hat out of the pond. Maybe hell
give us a dime!"
"No wait till he goes after it him
self and then we might get a quar-i
ter for fishin' him out"