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Newspaper Page Text
"Well, what can I do for you?" Of
ficer Mahoney asked.
The stranger gazed at the officer
a moment, smiled, and in true Irish
style asked 'a "question in answer to
"You are Irish?" the stranger
"Yes, I am," Officer Mahoney an
swered, "but what's that got to do
"Well, you see," said the stranger,
"I'm Irish, too. My name's O'Bran
nigan. Can a good Irishman get a
bed here tonight?"
"No, we have all the Irishmen we
can accommodate now," Officer Ma
At this Juncture Police Sergeant
Herman Kuehn stopped writing a
moment Addressing the stranger
jokingly Sergeant Kuehn said:
, "Now, see if you had been a Ger
man instead of an Irishman you
could have got a bed."
'Mein name ist FriedeL Ich bin
aut Lorain, und Ich bin ein guter
Deutscher," the bed-seeker replied, ,
Sergeant Kuehn threw up his
hands. Officer Mahoney walked off
smiling and Priedel was led away to
the bed he sought. Cleveland
Arthur Train, assistant district at
torney of New York city, tells of once
being present in police court when a
burglar was discharged by the court
"The judge," says' Mr. Train,
"turned to the prisoner and asked if
he had anything to say before he
"'Yessir,' came the reply. 'Kin I
have me tools?' " ,
Jiggs I ate a Welsh rabbit at the
club last night and then went out
Everything swam before ne I
Biggs Naturally you got sick.
Jjggs No, I went to the aquarium!
I saved the lives oFtwo people tha
other day. They were just about to
step on the park ice when I fell
through. Ha there, Girls!
A GOOD REASON
"Bet I kin dress quicker 'n you."
"Maybe so, but I wash."
TOLD NO LIE
Man from Collection Agency Do
you recognize this note?
Impecunious One I can't say that
I've- eyer met it
MOVIE TERMS ILLUSTRATED
(ONE MOMENT PLEASE-)