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Newspaper Page Text
new york a swell dame rushed
into a bhrd store over on 89 st and
yelled for the guy that owns the joint
when he comes up she lets loose
and gives him a mouthful of the
strongest kind of langwidge you ever
say, she begins, what do you mean
by selling me that parrot last week, &
you said he cood talk flooently & cood
eckspress his self in words what you
coodent distinguish from a rele live
well, madam, the store keeper com
menced, but he never got no further,
for the dame brakes in with another
you are a cheat that is what you
are to sell such a parrot that can't
say booh much less any rele words
A& i will tell the polise how you take
advantage of peepel here & swindle
them rite befour there eyes
but, madam, allow
yes i allow you wood steal the
candy from a baby, for a man that
will sell a parrot like that which mite
as well be deef and dumb for all the
talking it can do, why that pore thing
dont look like he ever knowed there
was such a thing as the english lang
widge enny how & i have a noshun
to get you pinched for robbing me out
of that money
yes, you can say what you want to
when iget good and threw, the lady
said loud enuff to hear a block away,
but i want to tell you rite here and
now that the old parrot aint said one
word sine i bought it from you, thats
& then she runned outer wind or
something for the storekeeper got in
a handful of words hisself
maybe lady, he said verry politely,
you dident give the parrot a chance
Kate Douglas Wiggin, author of
"Mrs. Wiggs of the Cabbage Patch,"
used to be a kindergarten teacher.
"Once," says the authoress, "I was
chastising a habitual evil-doer and a
chase resulted in the school yard.
'This would be a fine game,cried the
culprit at last, 'if you wasn't always
IT, teacher.' "
Smart Young Man What do you
think of Smith?
Indignant Old Gentleman Smith,
sir! He is one of those people who
pat you on the back before your face
and hit you in the eye behind your
Young Man (dining with "her") '
Waitress, may we have a spoon?
Waitress Sure, go ahead! If you
don't mind the people around. Bos
Little Bobby has been naughty.
But we got something to be thank
ful for he ain't twin?.