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Newspaper Page Text
FOR FAMILY USE
"Henry," a Jersey comuter's wife
began thoughtfully, "I've been think
. ing a lot about you lately."
"Since we moved here to Jersey
and you've gone back and forth
every day to the city you have seen
absolutely nothing of the children."
"I don't see how that can, be
helped," said Henry. "When I leave
in the morning they are not up, and
when I come back in the evening
they are in bed."
"Yes," said the wife, "that is so,
but -you might at least send them a
souvenir postcard now and thenr"
"Diamond Jim" Brady, New York's
most famous Broadwayite, tells of a
frjend who bought some diamonds
"I tried to dispose of those dia
monds you sold me," he said, "but
was told they were not genuine."
"Go and try to buy them back'
replied Brady, "and you will find they
A man entered a grocery store and
ordered some eggs.
"That man always buys fresh
eggs," whispered a small egg peep
ing out from the depths of the bas
ket. "Huh!" scoffed a big egg on top,
"yuh can't tell me that. I wasn't
laid yesterday." Judge.
SHE OUGHT TO
"Do you know the nature of an
"Well, I ought to, sir. We've just
moved and my husband has been
laying the carpets."
THE WORM TURNS
"How much are your four dollar
shoes?" asked the smart one.
"Two dollars' a foot," replied the
salesman, wearily. Judge.
Why are sailors usually bad jock
eys? Because they ride on the main.
Elsie Mamma, I -think papa is
dreadful was he the only man you
BV Ni Tf 2, L3t lljr
Binks I can give you the winner
of next week's race.
Jinks I don't want it. I havent
a stable to put it in.