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Newspaper Page Text
"Why this delay? Cannot the pris
oner speak English?" inquired the
"No," answered counsel for the
defense, "but I have an Irishman
here from the same village who can
translate his remarks."
"Well, let us proceed at once, then.
What is the prisoner saying?" he in
quired of the interpreter.
"Nonsense!" came the angry an
swer. "I"hard him speak."
"Yes, but 'twas nothing to do with
the case at all."
"Sir, I demand to know what he
said!" thundered the judge.
"Well, pardon, but he wanted to
know what was the ould woman sit
tin' so high an' mighty."
"Indeed!" came the cutting reply,
"and what did you answer?"
"Sure, I said, Whist, ye spalpeen!
That's the ould boy that's goin' to
hang yez!' " Fort Worth Record.
"One-Eyed" Winston was a negro,
preacher in Virjrfnia and his ideas
of theology and human nature were-.
often very original. A gentleman
thus accosted the old preacher one
"Winston, I understand you be
lieve every woman has seven devils.
Now, how can you prove it?"
"Well, sah, did you ebber "read in
Vde bible' how de seben debbils were
i'tcast outer Mary Magdalene?"
(i "Oh, yes, I've heard of that"
Did you ebber hear of 'em bein'
j cast outer any other woman?"
"No, I never did." 4
"Well, den, de udders still got 'em,
Sambo Ah love yo' Mandy an Ah
just come to ave yo' fo' t' fix up de
Mandy What's de mattah? Has
yo' los' yo job? Philadelphia Even
When is the hardest time to gei
your watch out of your pocket?
When it's (s)ticking there.
After a vaudeville act in a small
Kentucky town, one section of the
audience applauded loudly. Cries of
"fine! fine! fine!" greeted the ears of
the delighted nerformers. Suddenlv a
raucous voice bellowed out from the
darkness -of the gallery, "No not
fine, jail! jail!"
v -to 1
ELUNG OIL STOVES TO
THE NATIVES OFtJNGOO,