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Newspaper Page Text
Two suburban gardeners were
swearing vengeance on cats.
"It appears to me," one said, "that
they seem to pick out your1 choicest
plants to scratch out of the ground."
"There's a big yellow tomcat," the
other said, "that fetches my plants
out aqd then sits and actually defies
"Why don't you hurl a brick "at
him?" asked the first speaker.
v "That's what makes me mad,"
was the reply. "I can't He gets on
top of my greenhouse to defy me."
Lawyer Are you sure that occur
rence was on the seventeenth day of
Lawyer Now, remember, you are
Under oath. How do you know it
was the seventeenth?
Witness 'Cause the day before
Lawyer Be careful what you sav,
now. Go on. '
Witness was the sixteenth,
and the day after it was the eight
eenth. o o
WHY HE DISLIKED WAR
Mrs. Kawler I'm glad to hear you
say you wish the war was over,
Bobby. It's a very cruel business.
Bobby 'Taint that War makes
history, and there's more of that al
ready than I can ever-learn. Boston
Transcript . -
Harrigan was up in court and the
judge was in a lurry. "Are you guilty
or not guilty? thundered the court
"How kin I tell," returned Harrigan,
"ontil oi've heard the ividelince?
WELL, HOW DOES HE KNOW
Little Eustace Pa, what do you
do at your office all day?
Pa (irritability) Oh, nothing!
Eustace Then how do you know
when you, are through?.
"There is one good thing about
buying a really expensive dress."
"What is that?" '
"Why, you feel as though you
ought to buy another one not quite
so good to save your good one."
A HOT 'ONE
"My wife's been nursing a grouch
all the week."
"Been laid up, have you?"
Bobby I hear your Pa began life
as a newsboy?
Willie He didn't he begun life as