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Newspaper Page Text
PpjQPp J M J J ' J J J
OLD, BUT WORTH REPEATING
An uneducated. Scotsman made a
fortune. One day he and an ac
quaintance were talking, when the
latter said to old Duncan:
"Say, Duncan, you don't know
enough to go in when it rains. Why,
you can't even spell 'bird'."
"B-u-r-d," said Duncan.
"I tell you you don't know any
thing. Why, if you had to spell to
making a living you'd have been
dead years ago. I'll bet you a hun
dred you can't spell 'bird'."
"I'll tak' ye," quickly replied Dun
can. After the money was put up Dun
can said, "B-i-r-d."
"That ain't the way you spelled it
the first time."
"I wasna bettin' then."
A certain British statesman was
speaking in the North of England, in
an endeavor to raise recruits. Sud
denly he spied a tall youth in the
"How it is?" cried the speaker,
"that you are not at the front?" ' '
"I kin hear just as well back here,"
answered the yokel.
A SURE THING
"I ask you, sir, would you take
your daughter to see a play like
"And I answer you, sir; No; but
the chances are nine to one that she
has already seen it" Judge.
"Seems to me," said Jingleton,
"that the kaiser's got a lot of nerve
to invade Egypt"
"Yes," said Tompkins, "but just
think of all the sand it will take out
r of the allies if he succeeds."
Barber Your hair is very thin on
Patron I'm glad of that I hate
Xat hair! .
JrtlSW. "BOWES, WM Y IS THE
k6WMA.W TBfcAUKEK UKCft
( P COLONEL fW
BECAUSE HE'S 60T THE
Binks I bought a quarter's worth
of that anti-bug powder you recom
mended. Jinks How did it work?
Binks Well, I gave one big bug s.
whole dose and he's very sick 1$
think another package will wii Mm '
. ,.A -...