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Newspaper Page Text
There is a certain little fellow into
whose heart his mother has been
for some time striving to instill the
sentiment of generosity, which, to
her regret, did not appear to be na
turally present The son of a poor
family of the neighborhood she had
particularly commended to her boy's
consideration. The other day he
came in with beaming face.
"You know Tom, that poor boy? he
said eagerly. "Well, I gived him half
that box of candy you gived me!"
"You are mamma's own sweet lit
tle man!" the fond mother approved.
"Was he grateful?"
"Oh, he 'predated it, all right," the
little fellow assured her. "He let me
lick him when two other kids could
see, an' tomorrow he's goin' to come
round by the school and let me lick
him right in front of everybody, for
the other half of the box!"
JOY OF EATING
A well-known banker in a down
town restaurant was eating mush
"What's the matter?" inquired a
"Don't enjoy your meals?" v
"Enjoy my meals?" snorted the
indignant dyspeptic. "My meals are
merely guideposts to take medicine
before or after." Illustrated Sunday
George Cohan told at the Lamb's
vclub the other night of meeting a
shabby old colonel in Chicago an
old friend who got into an argu
ment about buying a waistcoat
Peeved at the old man's persistency,
Cohan finally advised him, to buy a
waistcoat of "soup color."
NECK AND NECK
"I'm not quite sure which reserves
the title Bryan or Ford."
- "Dub of Peace." i
MODERN FLYING DUTCHMAN.
Judge If I give you -your uberty
will you promise to take the pledge?
Wandering Willie I will, your wor
ship, and drink to your health when
1 60 it
She How I wish I were a man!
He Do you, really? "
She Yes; don't you?
If you want to save money trads
with a one-armed butcher he can'fc
weigh both hands-wlth, every ord