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Newspaper Page Text
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WOULD OBEY ORDERS
The foreman swore at Cassidy for
not fully loading up his hod. The
hod, he said, "would hold so many
bricks and Cassidy must take a full
load up the ladder every trip.
One morning the supply of bricks
ran out and Cassidy, after gathering
every brick in sight, found he was
still short of the proper number. He
yelled to a workman on the fifth
"What do you want?" asked the
"Throw me down wan brick,"
shouted Cassidy, "to make good me
A LOGICAL LUNATIC
"Lunatics frequently return amus
ing answers," says the superinten
dent of a great asylum.
"One day a keeper was out walk
ing, with a number of harmless in
mates, and the party met a pedes
trian not far from the railway tracks.
With a nod toward the tracks the
traveler asked one of the lunatics:
" "Where does this railway go to?",
The lunatic surveyed qim scorn
fully for a moment and then replied:
" 'Nowhere. We keep it here to
run trains on.' " Youth's Compan
ion. o o
Tony, a 10-year-old hyphenated
American from sunny Italy, was ask
ed by his teacher to compose a sen
tence containing the word "disar
range." Here is his sentence: "My
fadda he coulda not maka do stove
light dissa morning and he say, 'Dam.
dissa range!' "
"That's a pretty girl m the other
side of the car!"
"She surely is, do you know her!"
"Then why don't you speak to
"T will as snrvn as she's naid her mp
JOHNNY'S FROM MISSOURI
Bings I told my boy Johnny if
he'd be good till spring I'd take him.
to the circus.
Bangs Did it work?
Bings No; he said he tried it last
year and the circuit wasn't worth it!
O 0 r
HE HAD IT
"Hullo, Tom! What's this I hear
about your having some labor-saving
"It's true, all right I'm going to
marry an heiress."
In the cases of certain congress
men a little free garden seed covers,
a multitude of sins!
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