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Newspaper Page Text
Dr. Wiley tells the following story:
Sleepily, after a night off, a certain
interne hastened to his hospital ward.
The first patient was a stout old
"How goes it?" he inquired.
"Faith, it'sh me breathin', doctor.
I can't get me breath at all, at all."
"Why, your pulse is normal. Let
me examine the lung-action," replied
the doctor, kneeling beside the cot,
and laying his head on the ample
"Now, let's hear you talk," he con
tinued, closing his eyes and listening.
"What'll Oi be sayin', doctor?"
"Oh, say anything. Count one,
two, three, and up," murmured the
"Wan, two, three, four, five, six,"
began the patient When the young
doctor, with a start, opened his eyes,
he was counting huskily, "Tin hun
dred an' sixty-nine, tin hundred an'
sivinty, tin. hundred an' slvinty-wan."
TIT FOR TAT ,
The young couple were dawdling
over a late breakfast after an ultra
smart party. y-
"Was it you I kissed in the conserv
atory last night?" inquired hubby.
She looked at him reminiscently:
"About what time was it?"
BACK FROM THE HONEYlVIOpN
She Now, my dear, we must face
this problem. Shall we settle in the
suburbs or the city?
He You mean LIVE, darling.
Don't forget that on my present sal
ary we can't settle anywhere.
Husband You're a fine house
keeper! I'll bet you can't tell me
how much a pound your butcher is
charging you for roast beef.
Wife I will if you'll tell me how
much a gallon you are paying for
"What do we need for dinner, Brid
get?" "Shure, mum, oi tripped over me
foot and we need a new set uv
SIGN IN WESTERN BARROOM
"Gents shooting at the barkeep
will please avoid hitting mirrors.
They're the largest in the state and
a credit to the town."
fttVl W 2r-Z A
What I don't like about white shirts
is that, cranerallv snAalrinor. th'au'm