COST OF CULTURE
The college freshman year was
proving very expensive to fath'er, so
father decided to have a "heart-to-heart"
talk -with. Charles, home for
the week. '
"Now, son," said he gravely, but
affectionately, "your mother and I
are spending just as little as we pos
sibly can. 1 get up in the morning
at 6:30 and I work until after 5. But,
son, the money just won't go around
at the rate your expenses are run
ning. What do you think we had bet
For a moment Charles' head was
buried in thought, and then he re
"Well, father, I don't see any way
out but for you to work nights."
James, 4 years old, had been
naughty to the point of evoking a
whipping from his long-suffering
mother, and all day long a desire for
revenge Tankled in his little bosom. "
At length, bedtime came, and,
kneeling beside her, he implored a
blessing on each member of the fam
ily individually, His mother alone
alone being conspicuous by her ab
sence. Then, rising from his devout
posture, the little supplant fixed a
keenly triumphant look upon her
face, saying, as he turned to climb
"I s'pose you noticed you wasn't
in it" Harper's Magazine.
Teacher I'm surprised at you,
Sammy Wicks, that you cannot tell
me when Christopher Columbus" dis
covered America What does the
chapter headingSI'the week's lesson
Sammy Columbus 1492.
Teacher Well, isn't that plain
enough. Didyou' never see it be
fore? " ,
Sammp Yes'm, yes'm; but I al
ways thought it was his telephone
number. Harper's Magazine.
THE MARRIAGE REFRAIN!
Batts Marriage is one grand sweet
Botts Well, not exactly a song.
I'd call it a grand refrain refrain
from tobacco, refrain from the th-
ater, refrain from cards and refrain
iom almost everything!
Your son look ver much lak you,"
said the Frenchman, who was learn
"Yes, he's very much like me."
"He ees, what you caU, cheep of
the old blockhead, eh?"
Matter-of-FactjManager But sup
pose your play doesn't get over the
Wild-Eyed Dramatist Remove
That Chicago University club soup
has made more noise than anv sour
we ever heard.
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