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Newspaper Page Text
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TRY THIS ON YOUR PIANO
"What is a roost, dad?" asked
"A roost, my son, is a pole upon
which chickens sit at night," replied
"And what's a perch, dad?"
"A perch is what chickens perch
"Then, I suppose, dad, a chicken
could roost on a perch?" came the
"And they could perch on a roost?"
"Why, y-yes," answered dad.
"But if chickens perched on a
roost, that would make the roost a
perch, wouldn't it? But if, just after
some chickens had perched on a roost
and made it a perch, some more
chickens came along and roosted on
the perch and made it a roost, then
the roost would be a perch and the
perch would be a roost, and some of
the chickens would be perches and
the others would be roosters, and "
A JUST COMPLAINT
Stout, Red-Faced Lady Do you
mean to say you won't give me my
money back for this book just be
cause I have read it? You know
you advertise that it is your aim to
have only satisfied customers.
"Yes, madam, but what is the mat
ter? Is the print imperfect or any
thing like that?"
"Then why are you not satisfied
with the novel?"
"Why, I don't like the way it ends."
"Well, if that Watson isn't the most
conceited, self-satisfied, self "
" "Yes, I've heard you say something
of that kind before. What's started
you off this time?"
"He just sent a telegram of con
gratulations to his mother."
"Today's his birthday." Every
DIDN'T BELIEVE IN WEEPING
Touring Plaper My good lady, the
last place I stayed the landlady wept
when I left
Landlady Is that so. Well I'll do
no weeping, because you're going to
py me in advance.
A LATITUDINOUS LASSIE!
"He has a wide acquaintance."
"Sure! I saw him with her the
dsL- ' p
In some towns only a guy with
good thick forearm can wear a wris
watch with safety and he wont!