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Newspaper Page Text
HER SIGNALS MISCARRIED
A young married man met friend of
his bachelor days and insisted on his
coming home with him to lunch. His
wife was unprepared for visitors and,
calling him aside, told him sne nad
only one dozen oysters, and that
when his friend had eaten his quota
of four he must not be asked to take
any more. In spite of his promise to
remember, when the guest had eaten
his four the host pressed him to take
more. The wife looked distressed and
the friend declined. The husband in
sisted, the wife looked in agony, and
the guest firmly refused to have the
rest of the oysters brought from the
Later the wife said to her husband:
- "How could you urge him to have
"more oysters when I had explained to
you that there weren't any more?"
"I'm very sorry," said the penitent
husband, "but I forgot all about it"
"Forgot about it ! What do you sup
pose I was kicking you under thetable
for?" retorted his wife.
"But you didn't kick me," said the.
An attorney and a railroad man
went to the theater the other night
The railroad man saw a flashily
dressed red-faced, sporty-looking in
dividual silting in one of the boxes.
"Who is that tough person sitting
in the box?" the railroad man asked
pleasantly. ."He looks like a drunken
t "That," said the attorney, "is my
The railroad man gasped a couple
; of times before he could get a grip on
- himself. Then a smile spread over his
face as he remarked.
"Well, I went straight to headquar
ters for information, didn't I?"
"Dear Teacher: Kate couldn't come
today; she got wet in the a. m. and
cold in the p. m. Mrs. G." Missouri
YeT. so I iortoe.R whvt
Wime. -meyU- get hcre. ' J
J-4 1 o t
A Scotch minister in need of funds
thus conveyed his intentions to his
"Weel, friends, the kirk is urgently
in need of siller, and as we have fail
ed to get money honestly we will have
to see what a bazar can do for us."
A hundred years from now the Sons
of the Revolution won't be half as
fashionable as the Descendants of tha
Ford Peace Party.