Hard luck had struck Johnson a
fearful blow. In desperation he took
on a job to sell books from door to
All down one street he wenwith
out making a single sale. Then,
turning the corner, he determined to
try a new method. The first house he
came to was large and shabby, and a
frowzy female answered his knock.
"Have .you a Charles Dickens in
your home?" he asked, politely.
"No!" snapped the female.
"Or a Robert Louis Stevenson?"
"Or a Walter Scott?" asked John
son, hope dancing momentarily in his
"No, we ain't!" said the woman,
sharply. "And what's more, this
ain't a boardinghouse. If you're look
ing for them fellers you might try
next door; they take lodgers!"
Young Boggs had developed the
habit of lying. '
His employer had found it out, pnd.
he was severely admonishing him as'
to the evils that resulted from such
"It is very bad," he was conclud
ing. "You are always lying."
"Sir," said the young man, indi
nantly, "I would have you know I am
" Ton my soul, I never knew such
a chap! There you go again!"
"I can't swim!" shouted the man in
the water. He went under and -when
he came up he shouted again; "I
The man on the bank watched him
with languid interest
The man in the water sank again.
When he came up he gasped: "I can't
"Well, my friend," commented the
man on the bank, "this is a queer
time to be boasting of it" Tit-Bits.
Honor prompts one to tell a man
his faults to his face, but the law of
self-preservation makes it safer to
tell them to his neighbor!
NEUTRALITY AT HOME
"Who does the baby' look like?"
"He is neutraL"
"Mcmima, wun people ate in
mourning do they wear black night
gowns?" "Why, no, of course not"
"Well, don't they feel just as bad
at night as they do in the daytime?.
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