OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 07, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-03-07/ed-1/seq-17/

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TODAY'S BELLRINGER
"May I ask the cause of all this
excitement?" asked the stranger in
the little village.
"Certainly," replied the country
man. "We're celebrating the birth
day of the oldest inhabitant .She's
101 today."
"Indeed! And may I ask who is
that little man with the dreadfully
sad face, walking by the old lady's
side?"
"Oh, that's the old lady's son-in-law.
He's been keeping up the pay
ments on her life insurance policy
for the last 30 years." Tit-Bits.
o o
SHE WAS SURE OF IT
Frank I hope you will believe me
when I tell you that you are the only
' girl I ever loved.
Maude No. That I refuse to be
lieve. Frank Then will you believe me
when I tell you that you are the pret
tiest girl I ever loved?
Maude Yes; I am sure you are in
earnest now. Answers.
o o
A HEARTY CHUCKLE
Mr. Porter had recently become
the father of twins. One afternoon
the minister called to congratulate
him.
"Well, sir," said the minister, "I
hear that the Lord has smiled on
you."
"Smiled at me?" repeated Porter.
"Why, man, he laughed out loud at
me!"
S WIFELY SUSPICIONS
"Don't use any of that powder on
my face" said the customer after he
had been shaved.
"Why not? asked the barber, "any
thing the matter with it"
"There'B just this the matter with
it: Last time I was shaved here I get
some of the stuff on my coat and I've
rbeen kept busy trying to explain it to
my wife eyer since,"
HE HAD HOPES
Jones Excuse me, sir, but you ap
pear to be following me. Is there
anything you want.
McPherson Weel, I'm just trying
to find where you live, and introduce
myself like. I'm McPherson, the new
undertaker.
Jones Great Scott! I'm pleased to
meet you, I'm sure. But there's no
body dead at my place.
McPherson Nae, nae, but I just
heerd yer cough, an' I hae hopes!
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