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"Why, you're a millionaire!" said
the young lady. "I'll take this bill
for a hundred and pay the waiter."
"Stop 5" muttered Pa Judd.
The young lady looked at him
scornfully. "What'do you mean?"
she asked. "Do you think I am go
ing to steal it?"
"No, but but I thought I'd pay,"
"My dear boy," said the young
lady and pa blushed with pleasure
don't you know it is always the
woman who pays?"
Pa, who had dimly heard words to
that effect, suffered the young lady
to take his hundred dollar bill and
watched her pass quickly through the
crowded room. Minutes passed.
More minutes passed. The waiter
was looking at pa. He thrust the bill
under his nose. Pa glanced at it It
was for four dollars and twenty
"Your friend's gone, sir," said the
waiter, as pa looked up beseechingly
into his face.
Pa staggered out of the restau
rant. Early the next morning, having lo
cated Adam Green, and, after a
lengthy conversation concerning ear
lier days, having succeeded in con
vincing him of his identity, Pa Judd
touched Adam for fifteen dollars,
much to Adam's disgust, paid his ho
tel bill and toolc the homeward train.
He reached the little town with 90
cents in his pocket The place had
never looked so fresh and whole
some. Behind him lay the great city,
with its abominations. Pa was cured
absolutely cured of his desire for
adventure. And his brains were
awhirl with stories for home con
sumption. Lucinda had told him nothing
about any change, but he had taken
it for -granted that she would expect
at least $75. He had not succeeded
in harmonizing the various excuses
over which he was meditating when
he found that his legs had stopped in
front of the house door. And there
was Lucinda, fresh as a daisy, wait
ing to greet him.
"Well, you didn't stay long, pa,"
she said. "Are you glad to be home
"You bet!" answered pa, fervently.
"Well, Lizzie's here," said his wife.
"Lizzie! Here's your uncle home.
Come and kiss your Uncle Judd."
Before pa realized it a buxom
young woman was in his arms, im
printing a kiss on either cheek. Pa
stared and gulped. It was the young
lady of the hotel also of the restau
rant! Lucinda having vanished, pa look
ed at his niece with a mixture of emo
tions depicted on his face. Lizzie
And pa felt something slipped, into
his hand. He looked down at his
hundred dollar bill He looked up into
Lizzie's still smiling face.
"It's a plant?" he asked, mouthing
the words in his humiliation.
"Yes," nodded his niece, trying
hard not to laugh. "But she doesn't
know. She was anxious about you,
uncle, and I had to go to New York,
so I I tracked you from the station.
She thinks she thinks I never got
in a word with you."
"You're a good gel, Lizzie," said
pa, with gratitude. "Say, though,
would you mind kissing your uncle
Sgain? I'm mighty grateful that
you didn't do it yesterday."
(Copyright, 1916, W. G. Chapman.)
It does not race my pulse a bit
When I embrace in yonder skit,
The funny men upon the screen
One taps the other on the bean!
Upon my alabaster brow
No perspiration trickles now
When movie hero, fierce and bold,
Threatens the girl whose love is
Can there be comething wrong with
That such sensations are to be?
Ah, no! For when tlje movie starts
I look for Tom Mix in three parts I