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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 14, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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THERE'S TALENT AND TALENT
Pat Brennan of San Francisco is
the man who invented the alibi. Pat
has been pulled three times recently.
First time, for stealing a pair of
shoes, he told this story:
" "It was raining and a kind-hearted
man took off his shoes and said:
'Here, take 'em, Pat You need the
shoes worse than I do.' "
Next time Pat purloined an auto
mobile top. This was his excuse:
"I was asleep in a doorway and i$
began to pour, when a real gentle
man came along and was so afraid
I would get wet he took off his auto
top and put it over me."
Last time the charge against Pat
was trying to swipe a barrel of wine.
The judge thought he had him, for
Pat was caught with the goods.
"Judge, I was walking down a hill
when along come this barrel of wine.
I stopped it and started to roll it back
up to its owner when the cops
The judge gave up, with:
"You are too fine a liar to go to
jail, Pat. Run along wid ye, now!"
Pat's running his best, trying to pre
vent a job being forced on him by the
A certain lawyer who was a can
didate for a municipal office went out
canvassing one day and knocked at
a cottage door. The " door was
opened by a woman.
"Is your husband in, Mrs. ?"
inquired the lawyer.
"No, sir," was the reply, "but I
know what you want My husband
is sure to vote for you because you
got him off for stealing that ham
"No, no; alleged stealing of the
ham," corrected the lawyer.
"Alleged be blowed!" was the
woman's smiling reply. "We've got a
bit of it left stilL Lemme give you
ta sandwich of it, sir,"
UK Li-ffLe LOUDER)
t&forrtNG FOR -THE
SPHYNX 1& MAKE A
-SXE-BCW ON PREPAREDNESS
"What did you say your age was?"
he remarked between dances.
"Well, I didn't say," smartly re
turned the girl, "but I've just reached
"Is that so?" he returned, consol
ingly. "What detained you."
A friend of mine underwent an aw
fully painful operation the other day
they cut off his whisky.