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CONFESSIONS OF A WIFE
JIM DESCRIBES A CERTAIN KIND OF A WOMAN
"Good Lord, Jim. You are a dandy
person to introduce into a sick
room," exclaimed Dick as Jim
stopped for breath after "explaining
his theory of the way Kipling should
be interpreted. "I brought you over
here to help cheer Margie up and you
go off into a tragedy of something
you call 'facing facts.' For heaven's
sake, man, have a heart!
"Do you know there is only one
cure for your morbid cynicism and
that is for you to get married your
self. Why don't you marry little Ma
bel Dinsmore? I've seen you around
with her a lot lately."
I pricked up my ears. Was dear
old Jim "hunting his bone" again. I
remembered she was very young,
very pretty and, it seemed to me,
very silly. I looked up and said: "Are
you thinking of marrying her, Jim?"
"Not in a thousand years. She is
altogether too flossy."
"Flossy flossy," repeated Dick;
"what under the light of the shining
sun man do you mean by flossy."
"Well," drawled Jim, and his eyes
twinkled. "She is the kind of a girl,
Dick, that wouldn't wear a porous
plaster without running baby ribbon
through the holes."
Even my demure little nurse smiled
at this description, which to me not
only described Miss Dinsmore, but a
lot of other fussy and flossy young
You could not get Jim out of his
serious mood, however, and he con
tinued: "Outside of my objections to a girl
with porous plaster baby ribbon ten
dencies, I tell you, folks, I am afraid
to get married. I don't mind telling
you that. I'd like the home and the
kids and all that, but suppose well,
suppose I'd fall in love again after I
"Oh, for heaven's sake cut all that
sentimental stuff," growled Dick.
"Don't you understand that is what ,
marriage is for, to keep a man from
making a fool of himself any more
often than necessary.
"Why, let me tell you, Jim, if a man
and woman now, mind you, I am
bringing woman into this affair I
say if man and woman could love
only once there would be no need of
the marriage ceremony."
My little nurse and I looked at each
other in surprise and almost con
sternation, and I think it dawned on
her, as it did on me, that Dick was
Jim, too, seemed impressed. "Then
you think that marriage is an unnat
ural institution, Dick?" he asked.
"Now look here, Jim. Please don't,
assume a virtue that you haven't got
You haven't trailed around with all
this married crowd for ten years
without seeing that, like everything
else that lives, marriage grpws old
its freshness goes."
"Oh, Dick!" I sighed.
"That's all right, honey," he said,
coming over to me. "You and I know
that growing old isn't the worst
thing in the world.
"Neither is marriage such an aw
ful institution, although it is as you
say, 'not just love'."
"Sometimes," said Jim, "my ob
servation has led me to believe that
it is very much like that place we
only allow the adult tongue to name
and which only the adult heart can
"Oh, hell," exclaimed Dick disgust
edly "You've guessed it," remarked Jim
with a grin.
"Margie, I'm going home and go
ing to bed and I'm going .to take this
idiot with me. Don't you think about
this conversation tonight Just re
member that perhaps tomorrow
when the doctors come in they will
say you can go home.
"And will you want me there, Dick,
even like this?"