OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 23, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-03-23/ed-1/seq-17/

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TODAY'S BELLRINGER
"You're a "wise guy!" said the
Smart Aleck, and he put down the
price, a cent, took the goods, a fig,
and departed.
A spectator of the transaction, be
ing a lunkhead, said he might as well
he a. goat, too.
"What's the answer?" said he.
"The Smart Aleck shoves me the
paper with the 'A 8' on it," replied
the clerk. "Easy mark. A, figure
eignt: 'A fig. Your rate? Wanted a
fig and how much would it be? I
shoves the paper back to him with
'Musk' written on it Musk: A scent
That's how much would it be."
NOT GOOD FINANCE
Baron Rothschild was taken se
riously 111 when he was 90 years of
age and felt that his end was near,
although his physician thought oth
erwise. "Nonsense, baron," said the doc
tor, "the Lord isn't going to take you
until after you have passed the hun
dred mark."
"No, my friend," said the age'd
financier, "that wouldn't be good
finance. For why should the Lord
wait until I reach par when He can
pick me up at 90?" Ladies' Home
Journal.
o o
NO CAUSE FOR COMPLAINT
"Here is that suit I bought of you
last week," said the angry customer
to the tailor. "You said you would
return my money if it was not satis
factory." "That's what I said," responded the
polite tailor, rubbing his hands, "but
I am happy to tell you that I found
tne money iu ue euureiy sausiac
tory." Ladies' Home Journal.
AN EFFICIENCY IDEA
Tailor How many pockets in your
trousers?
Customer Only one, please. My
f tjHfo a n hnsv women and I want tn
save her time when she goes through
Ohem, " - v
SOFT SNAPS
tWooeA "SPORT-THlS
(Will ABsoLu-feuY PeventI
JN JURY To TH s&ex '.
WM
nj?KiNG ORPERS FOR
FOOTBALL NOSEfiUARDS
AT A CHESS TOURNANrtT1
HAD ONE AT HOME
An observing girl of six sat at the
picture show of "The Outer Edge."
Just as the villain slammed the door
in his wife's face the little voice piped
up, to be heard all over the' silent
theater:
"Why, he's worse than our hus
band, isn't he, mother?" Film Fun.
6abhtl&0
Radium is valued at $2,400,000 an
ounce. Pretty near time women be
gan to wear it on their hats.

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