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Newspaper Page Text
now, lady, step rite in, we gotter
n. y. ra feller from the west breez
es into the big town the other day &
he says where do you guys get all
this dope about n. y. citfc being the
hole cheese in the country.
it, said the boss verry dignified
like becaus he aint never lived in no
other city ecksept 1 trip to chicawgo
evry yere & he sleeps all the way
there and back, is the richest, big
gest, most up-to-the-2nd city in the
is that so, the other feller hollers
at him, well i been out & give this
plase the o. o. this A. M. urley & be
leev me its all to the bad and what
aint there is going fast
you got all kinds of cave dwellers
living in cellers that never see the
lite of day & your hotels are still pull
ing the jesse james stuff & i'd rather
trust myself to a trench in urope
than 1 of your horse cars
well, what's the matter with them
horsecars, the boss inkwired
nothing, the fresh nut ansered,
only the rest of the country has to
travel a long ways to see them, all
the ways to n. y. in fack, but speek
ing about them old rattletraps, i had
a peculiar ecksperience this A. M.
when i was in 1 on the madison st
& avenue C line
a bunch of us fellers were in the
car when a big fat woman gives the
driver the sine & he slows down for
three miles a hr. to a neer stop
the lady puts a foot on the car
step & the conny shoves her back
saying to wait a minit pleese
then he hollers into the car, every
body to the front and we all moves
o the front
Stage Manager My dear, I wish
you would wear a different gown in
the second act
Rita Ravenyelp But that is the
latest style, and I paid $200 for it.
Stage Manager That may be true,
but when your husband says: "Wom
an, you are hiding something from
me," the audience can't figure out
what he means. Judge.
"Bobby," said the lady in the tube
railway, severely, "why don't you get
up and give your seat to your father?
Doesn't it pain you to see him reach
ing for the strap?"
"Not in a train," said Bobby.
"Is he a typical American?"
"Yes; he likes baseball, has a mo-'
ytor car, owes a mortgage, pays ali
mony and thinks the moving pictures
have grand opera beaten a mile."
Funny nobody seems to have
thought of signing up Villa for a lec
ture tour. He's getting practice mi
me one-night stands.