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TODAY'S BELLRINGER
A London man Just back from the-
states says that a little girl on the
train to Pittsburgh was chewing
gum. Not only that, but she insisted
on pulling it out in long strings and
letting it fall back into her mouth-
again.
"Mabel!" said her mother in a hor
rified whisper. "Mabel, don't do that.
Chew your gum like a little lady."
London Opinion. -
o o
A HARP CHARACTER
"You don't dissipate, do you?"
asked the physician sternly of the lit
tle, worried-looking man who was
about to take an examination for life
insurance. "You're not a fast liver
or anything of that sort, are you?"
The little man hesitated a moment,
looked a bit frightened and then piped
out: "Well, I sometimes chew a lit
tle1 gum." Ladies' Home Journal.
o o
THEIR ARMAMENT
Little George went to see "Cabiria"
with his father, and when the Roman
soldiers appeared on the screen
George asked eagerly:
"Who are they, daddy?"
"Roman soldiers," replied his fa
ther. "Then why don't they shoot Ro
man candles?" inquired George.
Film Fun.
PAINLESS PATRIOTISM
"How quickly some of these immi
grants asismilate our. ideas and
methods."
"As for instance?"
"Well, I asked my Italian barber
if he was going ho'me to fight and
he said he wasn't; that he had paired
with an Austrian in the next block."
o o
ACCOMMODATION
Mistress Goodness, Bridget,
where is our telephone.'
Bridget Mrs. Jones sent over,
mum, askin' for use av it and I sint
it over, but I had the divil's own toime
gittjn' it off the wall, mum.
THE GREAT BLACK
HAND MYSTERY
CAN YOU READ THE MESSAGE
OF THE FINGERS?
WATCH THIS SPACE IN THE DAY
BOOK EVERY DAY AND GIVE
YOURSELF A SURPRISE!
j. .ALjiy