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Newspaper Page Text
Murphy, an old service man, with
a weather-beaten face and an en
listing age of 38, had joined one of
Kitchener's regiments and went
through recruits' drill and training
with a smile on his Irish face.
On the occasion of a night march
with full kit Murphy sldgged along
eight miles of muddy roads in a style
that put many of the younger men
. to shame and spoke of his 60-pound
kit as a mere flea's burden.
Alas! A zealous officer thought fit
at the conclusion of the tramp to in
spect a pack or two, and Murphy
chanced to be one of the number. In
side was a bag of feathers borrowed
from the poulterer where Murphy
"What is the meaning of this, sir?"
sternly demanded the officer.
Murphy hesitated for a moment,
then, grave as an owl, he answered:
"Sure, sorr, I thought they'd be use-
: ful in case I was transferred to the
flying corps." Tit-Bits.
o o f
"Please, lady, could you give me a
dime to help me get to where my
"Oh, you poor man! Here is a dime
for you. Where is your family?"
"Gone to the movies." New York
"My boy," said the patronizing
member of the club, as he handed
around the Flor de Toofas, "that's
something like a cigar!"
"Yes," responded one of the vic
tims after he had taken a puff or two,
"what is it?"
Mistress My last maid was too fa
miliar with the policeman. I hope I
can trust you?
Maid Oh, yes, madam. I can't
bear 'em. I've been brought up to
'ate the very sight of 'em. Pa's a
burglar, London Sketch.
v ,t.- .. . -.,.. ,
IVC riLtcu THIS OIL-
CAM WHEN I WAS A
MERE CHIL.P AND IT
(CAM WHEN I WAS A 1
MERE CHI LP AND IT J
(&fePiN& Bill brvan?
RevouveRs and svJoros
NOT FOR HIM
massage, sir?" asked
"Not on your life," exclaimed the
,man in the chair. "If I come home
with that worried look all ironed out
of my face, right away my wife wil
ask me for money for some new
gowns." N. Y. World.
If ignorance of the law excuses nt
one I'll be sorry for some lawyers (
know if they ever eet into troubJa,