' FOOLED HIM
J. P: Hartz of Detroit of the Amer
ican Surgical Trade ass'n said at the
50th annual convention in New
"This -war has kited the price of
carbolic acid up to ?1.65 a pound
it sold before the "war at 9 cents a
pound. The hospitals that use car
bolic acid now have to be as eco
nomical and sparing as old Josh Lee.
"Old Josh Lee was a miser and he
breakfasted every morning on oat
meal. To save fuel he cooked his
week's supply of oatmeal on Sun
days. This supply, by the time Sat
urday came around, was pertty stiff
and tough and hard to down. One
Saturday morning Old Josh found
his oatmeal particularly unappetiz
ing. It had a crust on It like iron.
He took a mouthful of the cold, stiff
mixture then he half rose, thinking
he'd have to cook himself some eggs.
"But he hated to give in. He hat
ed to waste that oatmeal So he took
out the whisky bottle, poured a gen
erous glass, and, setting it before
his plate, he said:
" 'Now, Josh, if you eat that oat
meal you'll get this whisky, and if
you don't you won't.'
"The oatmeal was hard to con
sume, but Josh, with his eye on the
whisky, managed it Then, when the
last spoonful was gone, he grinned
broadly, poured the whisky back into
the bottle and said:
" 'Josh, my son, I fooled you 'that
time, you old idiot!'" Philadelphia
o o '
HOW TO GET IT BACK
"I've lost a wallet containing
$600," said Mr. Baker, excitedly to a
friend. "How much reward shall I
offer for its return?"
"Where did you lose it?" asked the
"In New York city."
"Well, if you want it back," said
the friend, "you'll have to offer at
least $700 reward." Ladles' Home
LINING OUT OF CLOUD
TO MtKKE A MESH &&
for your yfe-
MOST OF US ARE
Curtis Crim of this city was ar
raigned in the Alexandria police court
yesterday on charges of intoxication
after he had been picked up in a re
luctant condition. Anderson, Ind.,
When a man says his wife is an
angel it doesn't always indicate that
he is a widower but quite often
A great deal of cloth goes to wJ
in a fat man's trousers.
iH ii " "i irii i itmmtoM4mmmmmmA
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