OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 08, 1916, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-05-08/ed-1/seq-17/

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n. y. Maybe you think you can
tell a purty gurl when you see her,
but the chances are that you can't
or at any rate you ain't such a good
judge of them as Florenz Ziegfeld,
for he says he's the best in the world.
Catch as catch can or any old
weight, it makes no difference, he
being the champion chicken picker
of N. Y. & america
He says it is an art with him, for
he has worked hisself neerly to death
grabbing off purty girls for the ko
russ & he says that the famine in
drugs & dies aint in it with the fam
ine in good lookers
Why, he complained the Qther day
i have to give at least 25 the onct
over befour i get one taht will fill the
bill & i gess i have lamped as many
as 25 thousand.
now, if anny of you girls want to
brake into the stage as a beautey you
must be 5 ft. 4 in. tall & less than 25
years old, akording to Mr. Ziegfeld,
& you must be there with the face
and form and sole and grace.
I like em best, he ecksplanes, when
they aint fat or thin & if they come
of Irish eckstraction they stand the
best chance of all
also, headds, n. y. is the beautey
market of the country, but i dont go
much on that remark for mr. ziegfeld
never seen much of the west exsept
Jersey.
o o
HIS DEFINITION
"Son, what is an average?" asked
the father.
"Why," answered the youth, "it's
what the hen in the arithmetic lays
an egg a day on." Ladies' Home
Journal
OUR OWN TRAVELOGUES
Los Angeles. The natives call it
Loose On-gahl-eeze and it is some
loose, believe us, Amaryllis. There
are 600,000 people in L. A., and how
they live lordonlyknows. Of course,
there are 25,000 people who work
making movies, and we hazard the
guess that there is about an equal
number working in cafeterias. Manj
of the inhabitants of this village havg
gained so much skill that they can
balance a bowl of soup, a dill pickle,
three sandwiches, a barque-load ol
salad, a tapioca cream pudding and
a glass of milk on one tray without
doing anything more au fait than
spuing just a teeny-weeny drop of
the soup, maybe, down a neighbor's
neck. Los Angeles is the biggest
city on the Pacific coast, but San
Francisco, Seattle, Tacoma, Portland
and Santa Monica deny it The cli-
mate is oh, well, what's the Use?
o o-:
SLOW CHAP
"You wouldn't kiss a girl against
her will, would you?" asked the leafl
year maiden.
"No, I would not."
Then she tried another approach.
"Would you resist very much if 4
;irl tried to kiss you?"
o o
SOFT SNAPS
I fAlXEP AN'MEAtf-ntf ROOF
. OF- MY NVOjj-
fgAR Trie Roof
Or ft FLftT CAR-1
1

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