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Newspaper Page Text
SAVE. ' - :' -
Don't- fritr (doughnut fritter, -we
should say) away your Kale.
SAVE IT, . ' '
If you must SPEND money, spend
SOMEBODY ELSE'S money.
.--But put your own money in the
The only way to get to be a mil
lionaire is to SAVE money or
SAVING your own money is SAF
ER than STEALING other people's,
and STEALINGS foolish, anyway,
because this world is full, of BOOBS
who will lend-it to you. .
PUT AWAY EVERY NICKEL.
What do you care if some low
brow calls you a WAD or a MISER?
DOLLARS are your beet friends.
BEGIN today! v
TOO MUCH WORK
The "one-gall us"' customer drifted
into a country store in Arkansas. ,
"Gimme, a nickel's worth of asafe
tida," he drawled. -.
The clerk poured it out and push
ed it across the counter.
"Charge it," said the customer.,
"What's your -name?" asked the
"Take it for nothing," said the
shopman, "wouldn't write, 'asafe
tida' and Uoneyfunkel' for five
cents." Ladies' Home Journal
o 6 c
MAKING A PLATITUDE-CORRECT
Tommy was undergoing chastise
ment at the hands of his outraged'
mother for eating the jam.
"Tommy," she said, "this hurts me
more than it does you."
And when Tommy was alone he
produced a square piece of wood
Which he had placed where it was
needed, and murmured reflectively:
"I thought that board wouldn't do
her hand any good." Ladles' Home
OUR OWN TRAVELOGUES
New I'Rochelle, N. Y. You are"
probably surprised that, along with
New York, San Francisco and other
of the metropoHi, we select the vil
lage of New Rochelle for a top-of-the-liet
position in this delightful
series. Let It be known, then, that
New Rochelle is entitled to preferred
(a) It has the greatest per capita
wealth in the country.
(b) Nobody .who lives in New Ro
chelle does any work.
(c) All" the maid servants know
E. H. Sothernwell enough to call hftn
"Eddie," and they sing 'Tlello, Ha- -waii"
when they are hanging out the
.' But why? you' urge. .Dear Read-,
er, New Rochelle is the center of
Art in America. Actors dwell there
in their well known peace and do
mesticity. Every vandeviUian in the
world owns a home in New Rochelle.
No mere audience persons areper- j
mitted'to hold property there. One
peculiarity of the grocery stores is
that they selljo eggs. (This is very
deep stuff and you've gotter think it
over; theysell no eggs'.)
( & TboXv-Tbo much sur)